Yesterday I was at the Food Depot at Dupont and Davenport buying a few groceries. In the line in front of me stood two young and thin hipsters. One of them wore round, ironic glasses, sported a wispy moustache and had his hair parted as if by his mother for his grade two class photograph. The other one was all retro 80’s, wearing Doc Marten boots and a military jacket with a bunch of buttons on it. They were talking to one another as they waited and I overheard the one in the military jacket say, “Tomorrow Japan!”
The one with the glasses nodded, “And then the world will be ours!”
I had no idea what they were talking about, but as I had nothing to do I decided to join in the conversation.
“I have to say, this is a really auspicious moment for me. I want to thank you both for allowing me to witness this great moment in history. “
They were a little bit surprised but game.
“The world won’t know what hit them,” one said.
“Like thieves in the night we’re coming to conquer the world.” the other one added.
I nodded.
“ I’ve actually travelled from the 26th century in the hopes of catching this unembellished moment so that it might once and for all, be accurately documented.” Looking that the hipster wearing the glasses I said, “For instance, we didn’t know that your glasses were actually ironic.It’s an important piece for us in putting together who you actually were when this all started.”
The other one was looking at the grocery items I had placed on the little conveyor belt leading to the cash.
“So in the future there are no orange TicTacs? Can I presume that from your purchases?”
“They’ve become very rare. I’m sorry to say that the future is a rather bleak place.”
“Why are you only buying one bottle then?”
“There are strict rules about time travel. You can’t just import anything you like. It’s kind of like cross boarder shopping. But we shouldn’t mess with the space time continuum with such talk, however if either of you have one question about your future, I’d be happy to answer.”
The one with the glasses quickly asked, “ will we be recognized as friends or as a couple?”
“That’s something I’m here to try to find out. You two have the opportunity to write the future this very second.”
The one in the military jacket looked at the one with the glasses, and then back at me, “friends,” he said quietly, “good friends.”
And then things got kind of awkward.