Under the umbrella of Prison Fellowship Canada, I’ve been participating in a program in which I correspond with an inmate. For the last two months, I’ve been writing to “MotherTrucker,” who has been incarcerated for some sort of vehicular violation. In my last letter to MotherTrucker, I asked him if he had any ideas on how I might make a little bit of money, as I had incurred some accidental gambling debts. In order to protect my privacy, I use Clooney as a pseudonym.
This is his response:
Clooney:
I don’t have much time to write as there’s a White Supremacist meeting out by the basketball courts in ten minutes, and as I’m White Thunder Fist’s b****, I have to be there incase anybody wants their head or chest shaved.
I think you should consider becoming a Bounty Hunter.
Dude, I can give you a list of fugitives, telling you where they hangout, and if you cut me in for 50%, then we have a deal. I’m perfectly positioned to gather all the intelligence we need, and then you can just sweep in and clean up the mess. You should know that it’s not dangerous in the least, as the guys I’m talking about are junkies with very low fitness levels. You could knock them out with a donut.
Look, I’ve got to fly now, as the meeting is about to start. I can hear the chanting down coming down the hall. The mood got pretty grim in here after the black guy became President, but after Slumdog Millionaire won Best Picture, well, things got f***** crazy.
MotherTrucker
PS: Dog the Bounty Hunter is ready for a fall. His ticker is weak from all the steroids and coke.