My competition for Wikipedia

Wikipedia is ready for a takedown.

Over the years I’ve noticed that people ask me an awful lot of questions, and due to my dominance in games like Trivial Pursuit, I’ve established a certain authority within my community. I’m like an information sheriff. With this in mind I’ve decided to launch a counter-site to lamesville Wikipedia. It will be called Mickipedia and it will soon become the greatest fact-checking and encyclopedic reference on the planet.

Behold a sample of the database I am working on!

Lattice:

A lattice is a weapon that was used in the original Star Trek television series. It was particularly deadly to Vulcans.

Cave:

A cave is a hole in the landscape. Typically, bats live in caves as well as sleeping bears. Caves are dark and generally considered good places in which to die, hide treasure or find dinosaur bits.

Jesus:

Bearded son of God with serviceable carpentry skills. Although generally considered very peaceful, he was known to have some anger management issues around moneylenders.

Mist:

Mist is when the sky grows tired of flight and rests its soft machine on the meadows.

Egg:

An egg is something round and unborn. It can be eaten in a variety of forms or thrown at people during a festival known as Halloween. It is considered an insult to tell a person that they smell like a “rotten egg” and it is almost always a mistake to tell a woman you have romantic interest in that she has an “eggy aroma.”

Ghost:

A ghost is a see-through person. They were little known until Patrick Swayze made them famous in 1990.

Crepidoma:

A crepidoma is a term used to describe a balding, middle-aged pervert. Crepidomas are almost always seen alone, their faces made pale by the glow of a computer monitor in a dark room.

Yo-Yo Ma:

Yo-Yo Ma is a fictional character created by Sesame Street in an effort to bolster the spirit and confidence of Asian American children in the 1970’s. Among his powers was the ability to play violin, fly and transform into lava.

Jaime Sommers:

As played by Lindsay Wagner, Jaime Sommers was a former pro tennis player and middle school teacher who became bionic. She had crazy strength in one arm and in both legs, and one of her ears was so completely awesome she could hear anything out of it. It is unwise for a young boy of 12 to go to a new junior high school with a Jaime Sommers lunch box.