As you probably know, the Jesus Cobras finished our floor hockey season in fourth place. This would have been pretty impressive if it had been out of a field of 1,000, but it was out of a field of eight, and one of the teams—Friends Helping Friends –was comprised primarily of people recovering from strokes. So really, in spite of my stellar play, our overall performance was not all that great—there is no “I” in team, you know.
No matter, The Jesus Cobras have signed up for the spring league, in which we will be playing a different sport each week. I thought that these would be conventional sports, like softball and soccer and volleyball, but they are not. They are weirdo sports.
Tonight, our first game is against our nemesis Friends Helping Friends, and we are playing European Handball, a game in which the players must leap into the air whenever they pass or shoot the ball. I am hoping that the ballet classes I took in Junior High School payoff for this portion. I am expecting quite a battle against Friends Helping Friends this evening, as Donna, their team captain, has practically recovered from her stroke and has regained almost 60% of her vision ( way to go, Donna!). I will let you know how we do.
The following week are to play something called Speed Woccer, a sport that is a combination of speed walking and soccer and is apparently very popular in Belgium. Next, we are to tackle the sport of Ultimong, which is just like Ultimate, only instead of using a Frisbee, we use a Ping Pong ball. I have some reservations about this as I have large and powerful hands, and am worried that I might crush the ball. We are then to compete at something called Kung Hockminton. This is part art, part athletics, in which the participants, employing theatrical moves from Kung Fu, which are scored by the referee, play a variation of hockey using Badminton racquets and a shuttlecock.