Ever since Michael Jackson died, I’ve been wearing one glove as a tribute to the man and his music. It’s a subtle and appropriate thing to do, I think, a gentle reminder of the beauty that he left in this world.
As I’m presently in Ottawa visiting my parents, I was wandering around the old neighbourhood when I bumped across Randy Reid, who went to the same high school that I did back in the 80’s. You should know that he came from a very wealthy family, drove a BMW, was about six foot four and that he was a notorious bully. This, roughly, is the conversation that took place between us on the street.
Randy: “Hey, fag! Murray Fag, you’ve gone grey!”
Me: “I’m not a fag.”
Randy: “Yes you are. Fag. Grey fag.”
Me: ( Pretending to check my cell phone even though it was dead on account of forgetting to bring my charger.)
Randy: “This is my boy, here. ( Gestures to hulking 13 year-old standing beside him listening to an iPod) His name is Randy Jr, but we call him Razor. He’s not a fag. Like you.”
Me: “Nice to meet you Razor.” (reaching out to shake his hand)
Razor: ( He nods and looks away, doesn’t respond to my outstretched hand.)
Randy: “Whoah, whoah, whoah! What the fuck do you have on your hand? Is that a glove? In June? Are you still wearing one glove around in tribute to your hero, Michael Jackson?! Were you his lover?”
Me: “You shouldn’t make fun of The King.”( I immediately regretted saying this, and wished I had told him that I had burned my hand while fixing my motorcycle.)
Randy: ( Big, loud fake laughing while poking Razor and pointing at me.) “Razor, this specimen used to walk around school wearing one glove and a fake, red leather jacket in honour of his hero, Michael Jackson. Oh, Christ, the fun we used to have! I once glued his hand into his glove, and then his glove onto his locker! He was so unpopular and gay that he had to eat lunch with the boat people every day.”
Razor: “Is he what a nerd looks like when it gets old?”
Randy: “Yep. You remember this, Razor. Let this be a lesson to you, so you never, EVER, become a retard freak-show like this thing.”
And then Randy fake punched me in the head, and when I flinched, both he and Razor burst out laughing.
Razor: “Can I do it, too, dad?”
Randy: “Go for it! Just make sure you don’t get any nerd juice on you!”
And then Razor fake punched me in the head, and when I put up my hands to block the fake blow, Randy took my glove and threw it in front of a bus, giving his boy a high-five as they got into their Mercedes SUV.