On Wednesday evening, our Anger Management Training teacher, Svetlana, took the class on a field trip. We were to go to a Kettlebell class that was taught by Svetlana’s cousin, Takei, who was apparently a big shot put deal back in the Soviet Union. I wasn’t really looking forward to it, but after the mace incident with Cochise a month or so ago, I didn’t want to rock the boat, so I only wrote three letters of complaint to Svetlana’s superior.
At any rate, Cochise, who is another student in our class, showed up this week with a mysterious and unexplained cast on her right hand. As we walked down the Danforth, all wearing the Anger Management Trainee t-shirts that Svetlana forces us to sport in public, we bumped into a picket line full of striking City of Toronto garbage men. I’m not sure, but I think they were drunk. Waving placards, they were chanting:
Garbage, garbage piled high
Angry raccoons make you cry
Take our vacation days
You will die, die, die!
This made Cochise, who really likes yelling, very angry, and she stared to scream at them, “ I fart on you, I fart on you!” She then started to gather up some garbage from the street and began to throw it at the workers, who started to swing at the stuff with their placards, knocking it back toward our group. A chicken wing actually hit Svetlana in the eye, and as it turns out, she actually has quite a temper when threatened.
She called her cousin Takei, who showed up with his Kettlebell class, and I have to say, we absolutely SLAUGHTERED the city workers. It turns out it’s very easy to make Molotov Cocktails from the refuse lying about the street, and that City of Toronto garbage men will easily ignite if they have been drinking. Further, I was also intrigued to see that raccoons find the mixture of human blood and garbage to be utterly intoxicating, and that they will instinctively side with the more powerful side in combat. This was bad news for the striking workers.
At any rate, it was some excellent team building for the Anger Management All-Stars. We are thinking, as everybody had such a good and cathartic time, that we might actually join a sports league for the rest of the summer.