Apparently I do an awful lot of “projection.”
What Rachelle, and several of my therapists have pointed out, is that I always describe the way that I’m feeling, by saying that somebody else is feeling that way.
Hypothetically, if I don’t like somebody, I might talk about how somebody else doesn’t like that person, or, according to Rachelle, if I like somebody, I might talk about much a friend of ours “thinks that Jennifer has a great rack! I bet he hopes she wears that tight Mickey Mouse t-shirt out tonight!” or something.
Whatever.
Apparently, according to the blamers, I do this most often with our dog, Heidi. For instance, when Rachelle, Heidi and I are out walking on a humid summer day, whenever I start to get tired, I begin to talk to our miniature Dachshund, saying things like, “Poor Heidi looks tired! Rachelle, I think our little dog needs a break, and maybe a drink! Heidi, you’re such a brave dog to go on such a long, idiotic walk when we could have easily taken a car like I suggested!”
Yesterday, when we moved from our gorgeous apartment on Madison to a “more realistic” place on the wrong side of the tracks, I was apparently “projecting” throughout the day. According to Rachelle, who ACTUALLY took notes, I said the following:
1. Heidi doesn’t want to move!!
2. Heidi thinks the new apartment is stupid and probably has ghosts!
3. Heidi’s scared of street people, you know.
4. Heidi is going to really miss the backyard!
5. Oh, I saw Heidi knock over the lamp while moving.
6. Heidi’s cold and wet and needs her bowl!
7. I think Heidi’s scared of the streetcar. Does it really run 24 hours a day?
8. Heidi’s cold and wet and needs her bowl!
9. Oh, yeah, you mean that photograph of us where I look like a retarded turtle? Heidi broke it. She was acting out because you haven’t been spending enough time with her and she jumped up on the ledge and knocked it on the floor. I’m not sure she really wants to move.
10. Rachelle, I’m telling you, Heidi is refusing to come out of the apartment!