Well, Mr. Peanut is still missing.
If we had any inkling of the darkness that lurks inside of Jillian, we never would have consented to let her incorporate him into her Halloween costume. She took our precious taxidermied squirrel, and has held him captive in her home for two weeks now, claiming that Mr. Peanut is happier with her.
Bullshit.
In response to my posts about the abduction, and the Lost Taxidermied Squirrel Posters I handed out on her street, and the emails I’ve been sending her friends and family, she had the audacity to write this:
“These squirrel posts don’t really inflict any real emotion*1 in me. I read them to Mr. Chippy*2 (Mr. Peanut wasn’t working for us) as well, and he doesn’t seem to care much either*3. He’s pretty content to just hang out with me watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia*4. Lord knows you never gave him that pleasure. No sign of him wanting to live anywhere but here.”
I am going to address a few things here.
Footnote #1: The fact that Jillian didn’t feel any real emotion while reading my heartbreaking posts, is ample evidence of her Sociopathic, perhaps even Psychotic nature. She is DANGEROUS!!
Footnote #2: Mr. Chippy is a slave name, and I will not use it. Jillian has tried to steal not just Mr. Peanut, but also his identity, but I happen to know that he is a strong squirrel who knows exactly who he is, and where he came from, and his loyalty will never waver!!
Footnote #3: It’s clear that the only reason Mr. Peanut wouldn’t care about my pleas, is that she has drugged him. She probably has a little, black hood over his head right now, and is subjecting him to all sorts of mental and physical torture.
Footnote #4: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is an over-rated and lame show. It’s like Friends, only for people who like to yell. Mr. Peanut would hate it, as he has refined tastes, enjoying Masterpiece Theatre and House.
During the kidnapping, Jillian has been leaving ominous messages with Rachelle, asking if she could borrow our electric drill and a hammer. Obviously, Mr. Peanut is not safe, and Jillian has either been constructing a cage for him, or has even more diabolical plans.