As some of you know, I play on awful lot of Scrabble on-line. I may not be the best player in the world, and I might have difficulty improving my skills, but I try my best, play honestly, and always exhibit the finest sportsmanship, which can’t be said of all of my opponents.
Recently, I have been playing against a person who goes by the name of Gillian W.
This is a record of our last 15 matches:
53831637 -. Won by Gillian W on 27-Nov-09.
53746775 -. Won by Gillian W on 26-Nov-09.
53717195 – Won by Gillian W 25-Nov-09.
53703915 -. Won by Michael M on 25-Nov-09.
53625244 – Won by Gillian W on 23-Nov-09.
53555302 -. Won by Gillian W on 23-Nov-09.
53484502 -. Won by Gillian W on 21-Nov-09.
53448925 -. Won by Gillian W on 20-Nov-09.
53393157 -. Won by Gillian W on 18-Nov-09.
53302495 -. Won by Gillian W on 17-Nov-09.
53266635 -. Won by Gillian W on 16-Nov-09.
53134985 -. Won by Gillian W on 14-Nov-09.
53080804 -. Won by Michael M on 13-Nov-09.
52999827 – Won by Gillian W on 10-Nov-09.
52952373 – Won by Gillian W on 09-Nov-09.
As you can see, I’ve had quite a bit of trouble competing against her.
What follows is the actual transcript of our dialogue from our most recent game:
Michael M: That last game was well played, Gillian! My Lord, I’m learning an awful lot from you! You’re a really strong player! You should be on the Olympic team or something! ?
Gillian W: You’re a very weak opponent.
Michael M: Well, I’m doing my best.
Gillian W: You’re a product of the public school system, aren’t you?
Michael M: Ha! Cotton for 26!! Take that! That ought to hush you up for a minute!!
Gillian W: INSOLENT BOY!! YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED FOR YOUR IMPUDENCE!!!
Michael M: ????
Michael M: “ Haplolaly.” Hmm. I haven’t come across that word before! Well, nicely played, Gillian, that 170 points you just scored with that word sure increases your lead! Guess I better just try harder!! ?
Gillian W: It’s very hard for me to believe that you’re actually a “writer,” as your ability with the English language is abysmal. By the way, have you found a real job yet? I figured that with all your spare time you might have improved a little bit in Scrabble, but I guess not, eh?
Gillian W: That word I just spelled? Cadaver for 58 points? Michael, that means a human body that has no life in it. I will use it in a sentence: Michael looks like a cadaver.
Michael M: I don’t’ look like a cadavour, I just have a cold is all.
Gillian W: Cadaver, Michael, not Cadavour.
Michael M: Did your house get egged again at Halloween?
Gillian W: I am mighty like America, and you are small and weak like Tuvalu! It’s a sparsely populated island nation in Polynesia and they don’t have a hockey team, Michael, so you probably haven’t heard of them.
Michael M: You think you’re smart but you aren’t! You’re just a word bully who hates angles! ?
Gillian W: Angles? I hate angles?
Michael M: Angels.
Gillian W: Honestly, Michael.
Gillian W: Alright, you’re now losing by 223 points. Do you really want to continue this?