One of my New Year’s Resolutions for 2010 was to be more spontaneous.
In this spirit, I decided to get Rachelle, who just loves animals, a pet chicken for our apartment. She has long thought that Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund, should have an animal companion, and I thought the surprise of a chicken would be a welcome delight for both of them, and so, on Tuesday, I went up to Chinatown to see if I couldn’t find the new addition to our home.
FYI, It turns out most of the chickens you find in Chinatown are not sold as pets.
No matter, outside of Champions Off-Track Wagering on Gerrard Street, I watched as a man threw a live chicken out into the alley.
It was fate.
The man, who was very angry, told me that the chicken (“Screaming Joe”) was “bad fighter who run away yelling all the time!” and that “you lose lots of money if you bet on this coward bird!” And so, I rescued Screaming Joe from a desperate life of violence and degradation, and took him home to make him a part of our family.
Well, it turned out that neither Rachelle nor Heidi were as keen on my spontaneous gift as I’d hoped they’d be. Heidi tried to kill the bird, and Rachelle complained that he was filthy, destructive and quite possibly mentally retarded. They ostracized Screaming Joe, forcing him to live on the semi-enclosed front balcony.
It was here, from his perch on the railing, where he had to endure the icy stares of hatred and bigotry from Rachelle and the ceaseless threat of Heidi’s violent barking. Pigeons, perhaps jealous of Screaming Joe’s majestic plumage, swooped in and taunted him, reveling in the liberty of the flight my chicken could never quite achieve.
And so, on Wednesday morning, Screaming Joe, with one final Cock-A-Doodle-Doo—as if to thank me for all I tried to do for him—stepped off our balcony and into the path of a streetcar, and just like that, his beautiful light was extinguished.
Screaming Joe, you were a beautiful and glorious bird, and I hope that now, in death, you will find the peace that eluded you in life, and finally take flight, living amongst the angels.