Today I have give the blog over to Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund for the day:
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Dear Stupid World:
Heidi very unhappy with you! You BAD DOG, BAD DOG WORLD! You slink off to corner and shiver, never be certain if get dinner again! Heidi hate your guts and want to rip them out and eat fast!
First, Heidi very mad at stupid New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest! Never accept Heidi submission! Heidi no understand, her captions best by far! Heidi think New Yorker full of classist snobs who wouldn’t know how to chase car if life depended on it! Stupid four-eyed nerd people couldn’t survive hour in forest! Nerd versus squirrel? Even retard squirrel win! Heidi could live in forest and become Queen, eat any animal that look at her wrong! Blood, dirt and fur everywhere, Heidi wear it like crown! When apocalypse comes, New Yorker nerdlingers first eaten by Queen Heid pack!!
Look at this one:
Heidi submission “You stupid squirrel fart!” is gold.
Why not take it? No sense.
And here Heidi submit, “Why chicken cross road? So Heidi destroy and eat!!”
Another winner, but again reject!
World so dumb, Heidi hate world!.
Heidi also submit picture to Cute Overload. Maybe not the best picture of Heidi, bad side, I guess. Picture of Heidi sleeping with paw over kill toy. See all of Heidi body, which is awesome turn-on body for any dog. Heidi sexy hot! But Cute Overload say no. What the fuck?!! Heidi not cute enough!!?? Heidi way too cute! Heidi think New Yorker own Cute Overload and they scared of real quality! Just chickens.
Look at moron posts!
This dog looks sick. Cute Overload think sick dogs look cute? Scared of healthy dogs? Heidi think so. Only post pictures of weak, subordinate animals that answer to slave names.Dog look very weak, like he have no pack, no look like cowboy that control horse and gun!!
Heidi kind of like this post. Not cute, but terror in pretentious cat face very good, very compelling! Heidi like idea of torture cats, of keeping them in pit of water and bark, bark, bark, bark at them! Be fun. Maybe Heidi start own web site. Very exclusive.