Category: Blog

New-age musician and former Entertainment Tonight anchor John Tesh has confirmed that he dated Oprah Winfrey back in the 1970’s. With this in mind, I have decided to come forward and confirm what has long been rumoured. Yes, Oprah and I had a brief May-December romance in the 1980’s. I was a young and impressionable…

Seemingly out of nowhere, the cab driver, in a thick and coarse Russian accent, shouted, “That is why sailors must always carry knife!” and then he banged his meaty palm onto the wheel. As I was on my way to a session of paintball domination, I was in what I call the RED ZONE. In…

Whenever the dog decides to stop on somebody’s front lawn in order to find a place to do her thing, I always get kind of embarrassed. As she squats there, I typically find myself hoping that the person who lives in the home doesn’t spot us. Yesterday, Heidi chose to do her business in front…

Yesterday, I found out something new about myself. I am a Paintball God. I had always suspected my greatness, but now after yesterday’s visit to Paintball City, where I absolutely dominated, I now know it. I am a Paintball God. A few weeks ago Rachelle came across one of my journals, and after reading through…

On Thursday, after serving five months in self-imposed exile following an infantile yet lurid sex scandal, Tiger Woods returned to the world of professional golf by teeing off at the US Masters. Possibly overshadowing this meta-event was the new Nike ad that debuted in conjunction with the Masters. Self-consciously arty, the ad is shot in…

  As many of you will have no doubt heard, I’m going to be teaching a class in Fire Pit Construction at the Ralph Thronton Community Centre over the summer. Obviously, I’m very excited to be sharing my passion and expertise in Fire Pit Construction with the public.* I want this course—which I am calling…

The other day while taking Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund, for a walk, I stepped into a diner at Queen East and Broadview to pick up a sandwich. Looking out through the window, I saw a large man crouching down beside Heidi, whom I’d tied up to some pipes. He had massive, swollen hands that were…

At the Eaton’s Centre on Saturday, I sat on a bench beside a young woman and her dog. The dog was a young Golden Lab, and he sat happily on the floor, smiling in his dog way at everybody who passed. Not surprisingly, the animal was attracting huge amounts of attention. A woman with precise…

Going to the Urban Dog Fitness Center is kind of like going to a petting zoo. It’s a 7500 sq. ft. facility, and on certain days, you can pay $4 and let your dog charge about a huge rubber-floored gymnasium with about 50 other dogs. For Rachelle, who has the purest love of animals that…