Author: Michael Murray
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The sun is warmer, more present this morning. You don’t have to search for it. It lands upon you naturally, covering everything like a forgotten skin, like water. Jones and I are playing Bad Boat Drivers in the backyard. The rules and characters keep shifting. Jones is hitting zombies with a bat, and I am…
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Frito Lay
Frito-Lay responds to Trump: Frito-Lay is delighted that our potato chips are bringing such comfort to people during these unprecedented and deeply confusing time. We’re proud of our chips, and proud of you, too! However, as we battle coronavirus together, it is important to remember that we must not mix fact with fantasy, or substitute…
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Bad Guys
We are bad guys with bricks hunting for sharks. Jones thinks he sees a dorsal fin in a shrubbery. Appropriately armed, we go over to investigate. Just as I am reaching in, we both notice that it is now snowing. Out of nowhere. One second sunlight, the next, snow. We look at one another, astonished.…
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Sweet Prince
Good-night, Sweet Prince: Beloved Baseball Mascot Mr. Met Dies at 56. **************************** It is with great sadness that the New York Mets family must announce the sudden passing of Mr. Met. He will be forever remembered by millions of baseball fans for his inexhaustible optimism, sincere love of people, and of course, his great passion,…
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Trick
A sunny morning in the backyard. Jones emerges from the zombie cave. Groaning, he limps after me, branches in either hand. When he strikes the ground with one of them, the earth trembles. Terrible sword fights ensue and characters shift. Jones is a zombie shark, I am Thor, God of Dentistry. Jones is Captain Amerifart,…
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Plague Doctor
ASK THE PLAGUE DOCTOR! If any of you have any questions concerning the current pandemic, please send them to me and I will make sure that The Plague Doctor responds: Q: Dear Plague Doctor: Joggers. The other day I was walking down the street observing all the conceivable laws of social distancing, when without any…
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A Man
A man wearing a surgical mask is walking parallel to a woman wearing a surgical mask. They are on opposite sides of the street, heading in the same direction. The woman, who has taken care in her appearance, is a little bit ahead of the man. He keeps looking over at her. As if he…
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Standing Outside
Standing outside, the thin sunlight on my face. The sound of birds coming and going. Different now, somehow. Upstairs, a neighbour works from home. I can hear his voice through the open window as he tries to solve a computer problem for a client. And over the fence and out of sight, a young woman’s…