These are the text messages that I received from my wife on June, 28th, 2011
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such a long day at work!
should be home soon. xox
traffic nuts, won’t be home til 7:30 at earliest.
yes, that’s right michael, i’m having an affair.
with a traffic jam.
no, i don’t think you’ve lost your “edge.”
look, could u just do dinner tonight?
and please, not steak again.
or pot roast.
something summery and fresh.
no, that doesn’t mean “fag food.”
look, i’m concerned about all the farting you’ve been doing lately.
no it’s not the dog.
it’s you.
????
i think it’s the meat
no, it’s not all the vegetables i make you eat
you should probably see the doctor about that
no, it really, really reeks
raccoon in the wall reek
you only started to let them rip after we got married
not nice
fucker just cut me off!!
people who drive bmw’s are a-holes!!!
and 6 glasses of wine a day is too much
nice
you wouldn’t have written that before we got married
good work on all the organization for the wedding, by the way
yeah, you really manned-up
????
sarcasm, michael, sarcasm
just go out and get some fish
bill’s lobster in chinatown
what?
you’re in chinatown?
are u gambling?
yes bingo is gambling
really???
you won $300!!
sweet!
oh.
the lady next to you won $300?
did she give you the $300?
then you didn’t win.
oh, a winner at life.
i see
sorry????
you broke our dresser?
and ur tyring to earn money for a new one by gambling in chinatown?
just remembered supposed to be having dinner with jillian
yes, we’ll be talking all about our cycles, sure
no, won’t be home until very late