Donald Trump’s penis size came up at a recent Republican debate.
Not being the type of man to evade controversy regarding his penis, Trump immediately took to Twitter to clarify the matter.
@realDonaldTrump: Unlike Obama, the ABSOLUTE worst President in history, I don’t dodge the tough questions.
@realDonaldTrump: When his handlers told him to deny the American people an answer to the birth certificate question, he caved and did what he was told.
@realDonaldTrump: He avoided the question. Not what a leader does.
@realDonaldTrump: Nobody owns Donald Trump, and nobody owns the American People! #TrumpInternationalGolfLinks&Hotel
@realDonaldTrump: Donald Trump is an energetic leader, and if the people want to know the size of my penis, then I will show them!
@realDonaldTrump: Believe me, I have absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed of. I GUARANTEE you that I am WAY bigger than average! #DonaldJTumpSignatureCollection
@realDonaldTrump: Here he is, the Chairman of the Board, the Trump Tower:
@realDonaldTrump: My doctor, who is the BEST doctor in all of New York, says that I am in PERFECT health, my hands are LARGER than normal, and my penis is in the 98% percentile in terms of length AND width.
@realDonaldTrump: And let me tell you, it functions, boy, does it EVER function!
@realDonaldTrump: No complaints in the bedroom.
@realDonaldTrump: Just ask tennis superstar Maria Sharapova.
@realDonaldTrump: She was pretty inexperienced, but I taught her a thing or two. #ArtOfTheDeal
@realDonaldTrump: And her legs! Beautiful woman, truly beautiful.
@realDonaldTrump: Sad to hear about her drug scandal, but she’ll bounce back. Tough girl. Winner. One of my crowning achievements.
@realDonaldTrump: Charo.
@realDonaldTrump: Charo met the Trump Tower MANY times.
@realDonaldTrump: One of THE greatest guitarists of the 70’s.
@realDonaldTrump: What a body!!
@realDonaldTrump: Susan Anton.
@realDonaldTrump: We did it on the 16th green of one of my many luxury golf courses.
@realDonaldTrump: She was more than satisfied.
@realDonaldTrump: Loved the Trump brand.
@realDonaldTrump: The grass was cut so fine it felt like velvet. Can’t remember the course, but it doesn’t matter, they’re ALL cut like that. #TrumpQuality
@realDonaldTrump: Susan Anton, she was very athletic back in the 80s. Miss California. #MostMexicansAreRapists
@realDonaldTrump: Appeared in Battle of the Network Stars. Looked great in a bathing suit. I have to say, I had my opportunities with a lot of those ladies.
@realDonaldTrump: I even have a few regrets, a few opportunities missed, but I won’t talk about those now, a gentleman has to keep some secrets, right?!
@realDonaldTrump: Connie Sellecca. She met the Chairman of the Board.
@realDonaldTrump: Multiple times.
@realDonaldTrump: Marco Rubio couldn’t even get a loser like Rosie O’Donnell. #LittleMarco
@realDonaldTrump: Also, Sharon Stone, star of Basic Instinct, and a HUGE Trump supporter, stuck her hand down my pants in the bathroom of the Rainbow Room.
@realDonaldTrump: Very sexy. #CouldHaveDoneHerInTheBathroomButDidn’tAsWasMarried
@realDonaldTrump: I haven’t even scratched the surface here. So many more.
@realDonaldTrump: Let’s make America great again! #VoteTrump
Comments
One response to “Trump Penis Tweets”
You are actually channeling Trump aren’t you? You otherwise would not be able to so accurately depict this man’s character so perfectly.