Tuesday has been proving to be misty and imperfect.
It’s not unpleasant, just slightly damp, but for Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund, it’s a world of dramatic misery.
If there’s even the hint of rain in the air, she’ll begin to shiver and moan and write bad poetry. It’s embarrassing, particularly because if I take her a walk on a day such as this, judgmental pedestrians will stare at me as if I was some sort of sadist.
“Hey!” A man said without charm or warmth, “ I don’t think your dog likes being out in this weather.” And then he just stared at me, waiting for me to respond to his challenge.
Near a bus shelter, I tied up my dog and ran into a 7-11 in order to get some change. When I returned to the sidewalk, three people were circled around my dog—one taking a photograph of her—while she shivered. I explained, apologetically, that I had only left her there for two minutes. They all looked at me, like they were going to let it go this one time, but never again.
In front of the Dark Horse Espresso Bar, I tied Heidi up (in a sheltered area), while I went in to get a drink to go. A white woman with a nest of hair that she undoubtedly thought of as “ethnic” wagged her finger at me. She was aggressively pointing in the direction of Heidi, while the crappy jewelry she had likely made as part of a therapy project, jangled off of her wrist.
“Yes, yes it is a beautiful day out!” I countered.
“No!” She said forcefully, “ “You shouldn’t leave your dog out a like that! She’s a living creature and she’s suffering!”
“And how is your daughter, Nicaragua Bumblebee Nirvana, is she still getting mercilessly teased because her mother makes her wear clogs to school everyday? I mean, she’s a living creature and she’s suffering!”
Unfortunately, a physical altercation commenced when she threw her no-fat-soy-what-the-fuck drink on me. Luckily, Gretchen, an enormous TTC employee who is a regular at the coffee shop, saw the whole thing unfold, and was able to haul the kicking and clawing hippy woman off of me as I lay curled in my defensive ball.
I have commenced a work-out program so that I might more properly defend myself in the future.
My court appearance is expected to be in late January.