I came late to the game Angry Birds.
As most of you know it’s an insanely popular video game application that’s presently sold over 12 million copies. Originally made just for iPhones, it’s now designed for other touchscreen phones, too, so if you’ve ever wondered what everybody was obsessing over on their phones before the movie began, well, they were playing Angry Birds.
It’s a simple and deeply addictive game. Angry birds hurl themselves via a slingshot at a variety of structures that house evil, egg-stealing pigs. The more destruction your wreak, the more points you score.
Rachelle and I have become addicted to the game and talk of little else, ans as such I’ve been hearing the Angry Bird stories of a multitude of people.
Here are some of the testimonials:
Quon, cook at the Lucky Star Restaurant across the street:
“Oh, I play Angry Birds on all my breaks. When it get slow I go out in alley and play. Must kill pigs! It relaxes me so much it funny. When I do well I make pork lunch special.”
Carla, 11 year-old niece:
“It’s totally awesome. Even though my mom won’t let me have an iPhone, I’m the best at the game in all of the sixth grade. I would like to go to the Olympics for Angry Birds. I love the giant red bird the most, I call him The Red Torpedo. He’s my secret weapon.”
Francis, 28 year-old friend:
“Whenever I’m on the subway I play Angry Birds. I use it as a means to flirt. When I do something well like kill three pigs, I make a display of it and show it to everybody sitting around me. Sometimes I ask for help. I got two dates doing this, but sadly, both guys were assholes. One of them still owes me $20.”
Taylor, 42 year-old fantasy baseball enthusiast:
“I fucking love the game. Honest to God, I will go to the washroom just to play, just to be away from the kids for a few minutes and get some piece and quiet. I love, love, love the slingshot and often imagine using it as a weapon against my children, whom I love very much, of course.”
Claire Stanton, 31 physician:
“Angry Birds consumed my fall of 2010 and winter of 2011, but in the spring of 2011 I discovered Tiny Wings.
Tiny Wings is to Angry Birds what Crack is to Cocaine.
Tiny Wings is basically a chubby bird that needs the swooping momentum of a hill to fly – and when he flies, he cheers! Sometimes he even touches the clouds. It’s pure poetry.”