As my debts to Goran, my bookie, have been steadily increasing after my disasterous string of bad luck betting on the weather, I have realized that I am going to have to go out and get a job. I am willing to do pretty much anything, just so long as no spiders are involved, and you should all feel free to offer me work.
At any rate, Rachelle sent me a a job post from Monster.ca today, in which Major League Baseball was looking for a baseball reporter. This has been a boyhood dream of mine, and so I jumped at the chance and applied straight away, letting them know that I would be happy to relocate to New York or San Francisco, but not Kansas City or Houston. It’s just the way that I roll.
I am very optimistic about my chances, and have included my application below:
February, 17, 2009
Baseball reporter?
Hell, yeah!
My name is Michael Murray, and although, like Dustin Pedroia, I’m small in stature, I’m also a plucky second baseman with surprising pop and immeasurable grit. And Like Pedroia, I stand 5’9, but play larger.
However, of even greater importance, considering the position I’m applying for, is the fact that I am aces when it comes to the writing. You might think that my enthusiasm implies that I am green, but MLB, let me assure you I am anything but green. If I were a ball player, well, I would be a savvy veteran, or an up and coming manager. I am presently a writer at the Ottawa Citizen newspaper, where I’ve been writing a weekly column about watching television for the last three and a half years. I’ve also been doing all sorts of freelance work for other papers and newspapers, play an excellent floor hockey game and regularly dominate my fantasy baseball league. In fact, my team—A Fury of Pigeons—is considered a fantasy dynasty, nicknamed “The Big Feathery Machine.”
I have a degree in English Literature from the University of Ottawa, about a billion ideas, the ability to hang from a rope for up to three minutes, and a deep love and understanding of baseball. I can throw a curve ball, and my favourite team is the Montreal Expos, still.
I live in Toronto, where I am well known for my charity work and ability to write clear and concise, yet compelling imaginative, prose about baseball.
Michael Murray