Author: Michael Murray

I’m utterly amazed by the impact that an April 14th eruption of an Icelandic volcano has had on the world. As everybody knows, the cloud of ash that’s risen from this improbable little island has grounded about 100, 000 flights across the world. Forget for a moment about the commercial and economic consequence of this…

For the vast majority of her life, my Great Aunt Daisy despised the idea of swearing. She came from a very conservative Scottish background, and swearing was simply out of the question. A lady would never, ever, under any circumstances swear. So prim was Daisy that if she were to overhear you say you were…

The interior of the Ukrainian Catholic Church was gorgeous. When we went there for a wedding rehearsal last week, the presiding Father sized us up, and figuring he’d seen our types before–which he probably had—immediately confronted us. Not welcomed, confronted. Seeing us in casual conversation, as if standing at a bus stop, he sternly told…

New-age musician and former Entertainment Tonight anchor John Tesh has confirmed that he dated Oprah Winfrey back in the 1970’s. With this in mind, I have decided to come forward and confirm what has long been rumoured. Yes, Oprah and I had a brief May-December romance in the 1980’s. I was a young and impressionable…

Seemingly out of nowhere, the cab driver, in a thick and coarse Russian accent, shouted, “That is why sailors must always carry knife!” and then he banged his meaty palm onto the wheel. As I was on my way to a session of paintball domination, I was in what I call the RED ZONE. In…

Whenever the dog decides to stop on somebody’s front lawn in order to find a place to do her thing, I always get kind of embarrassed. As she squats there, I typically find myself hoping that the person who lives in the home doesn’t spot us. Yesterday, Heidi chose to do her business in front…

Yesterday, I found out something new about myself. I am a Paintball God. I had always suspected my greatness, but now after yesterday’s visit to Paintball City, where I absolutely dominated, I now know it. I am a Paintball God. A few weeks ago Rachelle came across one of my journals, and after reading through…

On Thursday, after serving five months in self-imposed exile following an infantile yet lurid sex scandal, Tiger Woods returned to the world of professional golf by teeing off at the US Masters. Possibly overshadowing this meta-event was the new Nike ad that debuted in conjunction with the Masters. Self-consciously arty, the ad is shot in…

  As many of you will have no doubt heard, I’m going to be teaching a class in Fire Pit Construction at the Ralph Thronton Community Centre over the summer. Obviously, I’m very excited to be sharing my passion and expertise in Fire Pit Construction with the public.* I want this course—which I am calling…