A friend of mine who is presently in the Congo trying to set up a reintegration program for demobilized soldiers, has managed to contract both Typhoid and Malaria. Fever and hallucination can be associated with both these conditions and the medication used to treat them, and what follows are excerpts from letters he has sent to me.
My dear friend Michael:
You shouldn’t worry too much, as I have received proper medical care and both ailments are easily manageable with the proper medicine. I just need to take it easy for a little bit, and then I should be right as rain in no time! Thankfully, the little people have been coming by to keep me company in my down time. It’s amazing what a sense of humour they have and how their colour changes with their mood!
Patrick
Michael:
Angels wave to me from the rooftops. Their sighs a mango accented perfume that lifts me up to the ceiling, as weightless and omniscient as a spider. I did not think that Javier Bardem looked very good at the Oscars. He looked puffy, like he was going to burst out of the white tuxedo that was wearing him.
I feel hot.
But sometimes cold.
The climate here is strange.
Liberte!
Patrick
Dear Michael:
Remember how good you were at soccer? I swear to God, sometimes you meant for the ball to hit you on the head! Man, I always wished I was you.
How’s Toronto? LIfe in the Congo is good. I haven’t seen any gorillas yet. I don’t think I could beat-up a gorilla, even though I’m now taking boxing lessons. It’s true.
I’M SO MEAN I MAKE MEDICINE SICK!
If I had a pet Congo I would call him Gorilla. No! That’s not what I mean, I mean if I had a pet Gorilla I would call her Jessica Alba because I have always, always liked her ass, which is fanasstick!
Hope you are well!
Please send toothpaste as I have run out. I have been using it as a balm to put on my blisters.
Patrick
Michael:
You’re an asshole.
You always have been.
Behind your back, everybody makes fun of the way that you eat.
The reintegration program is going well and we are very happy that Sting has come over to offer his help and endorse the project. He is a charming fellow and often sings to me as I drift off to sleep. My favourite is Shape of My Heart. It’s deep, deep like the mighty Congo river– unlike you.
You are shallow, like spoon water.
Oh, the little people are back!
Give my regards to the gang back in Toronto!
Patrick