This summer I’ve been working out under the umbrella of an organization called Wellspring. Community based, Wellspring’s mandate is to help people cope with the consequences of cancer. Almost anybody, be they current or past patients, family, friends or caregivers, can participate in a variety of support programs that include fitness training and group counseling, to name just a few. It’s an entirely excellent organization, one that offers people who often feel like they’re lost between particulars an opportunity to find a more immersive, holistic approach, something that focuses on the entirety of the person rather than just a disease. Even though it’s been over a dozen years since I was treated for cancer, I still feel the legacy, and felt fortunate that the opportunity to workout under their guidance was still available to me.
Recently, as I was cycling down the street on my way there, I passed a young woman walking down the sidewalk. There was a unique tenderness written into her face that had an almost holy aspect, and she seemed preoccupied, as if all of her emotions were living right there on the surface, and I immediately wanted to know what she was thinking. But as quickly as I glimpsed her, she was gone, receding into the city as I coasted by.
After stopping to do a little banking, I walked into Wellspring about 15 minutes later and saw this woman inside the building waiting for the elevator. I was startled by this coincidence and started up a conversation, one that saw me telling her that my allergies were driving me crazy. Waves of benevolence seemed to pour from her when I said this, and with a humbling compassion and sincerity, she reached out and touched my arm in sympathy. I immediately felt horrible, like some fraud whom she believed was bravely battling through cancer and all the small, secondary miseries that are so often attendant, when the truth was that I was probably the luckiest person in the building. I felt ashamed and grew mumbly, bidding her a goodbye as she stepped out of the elevator and walked into a room where a grief support group was meeting, and I realized then that what I had seen in her face earlier, was the remembering, the cherishing of love, something that still encircled her like light.
