Today I have given the Blog over to Heidi, our 3 ½ year-old Miniature Dachshund.
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Four-eye-two-legged-treat-giver away in big castle full off sick people for long, long time! Heidi have to go without late night treat for ages! Cruel, very cruel! Nobody think of Heidi!
When he come back to den, he move all slow and bent like old squirrel that can no longer climb tree. He smell funny, like freezer in grandparent’s bungalow, and he have big fight wound on belly like he attacked by big owl! Stupid four-eyes! Must always protect belly from owl attack!! It basic! Learn that when just puppy!! His voice also so thin that not even mouse scared of him! He weak! Time is right for Heidi to eliminate him and take over his pillow and meat portion!
Heidi smart. Make big display when four-eyes come home. Wag, wag, wag tail! Jump up and down! Run in circles and bark like found great cave of sausage! “Oh, Master, Heidi miss you so! Didn’t know what to do when you gone! Poetry leave Heidi life when you not around! Beautiful master, you the best, you my hero, without you Heidi nothing!!” Four-eyes drink it up like big sap he is. When Heidi lick his face, she taste the weakness and fear, when she wags tail, she feel his soft, vulnerable belly.
Heidi push Kibble into inhaler four-eyes suck on when can’t breathe. Clog system so no help him when he try to climb stairs! Heidi also unplug AC unit during day when Rachelle at work, so weak four-eyes get all dehydrated and scared, and then at night, when pack sleep, Heidi curl into four-eyes. He think Heidi bringing him warmth and Dachshund strength, but old squirrel wrong! When Heidi lick spot where owl attack, he think she trying to heal his wound, but not true, Heidi so gently, so delicately pull at stitches so that old squirrel fall apart and Heidi get all meat! Going to be a great Fall!!