I have given the Blog over to Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund, for the day.
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Heidi never have resume. Always rely on looks, reputation and friends to get Heidi job, but world change! Now must be Linkedin and able to navigate social media! Heidi decide it time to make resume!
Heidi Resume
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Heidi.
Heidi good dog.
Very, very good dog.
Heidi very fast dog with excellent fetch skills. Can chase ball, cat, squirrel or flying two-leg cheat animal. When Heidi catch, Heidi show no mercy! Heidi kill and tear, Heidi Alpha! But in right situation, Heidi work well with pack, no have to be Alpha even though Alpha. Heidi facilitator, ambassador of self-esteem who always make pack stronger! Heidi versatile.
Heidi great at digging!
Heidi almost six and in her prime.
Heidi fixed.
Heidi good dog.
Very, very good dog.
Important for employer to understand Heidi barking skills. Heidi bark like war bomb explosion! Heidi bark like dinner bowl falling from great height! Heidi never stop! Heidi provide first-rate security for all employment needs! Heidi smell and hear anything, then barkbarkbarkbark!! Heidi fierce, mother of dragons!
Heidi hate cats. No work with cats. Cats deal breaker for Heidi.
Heidi have good appetite. Try anything! Be very good food critic. Here sample of Heidi work:
“Meat lasagna good! Heidi eat fast and lick plate! Four star!”
“French fry limp and without texture. Hit all wrong notes for Heidi. Where meat?!”
(More samples available upon request.)
Heidi very committed to all projects she start and always see it through. Heidi once chase moth in den of two-leggers for three days until Heidi kill and eat moth. Heidi extraordinary bug hunter. Talk of reality TV show, Heidi: Bug Hunter!! but fell through because Heidi agent stupid two-leg with ugly face!!
Special Achievements:
Heidi won New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest and was featured on Cute Overload. Heidi capture and kill bat.
Hobbies and Interests:
Squeak toys, scavenging, religion, bugs and conspiracy theories.
References:
Rusty.
Banjo.
Rex.
Heidi not all bark no bite.
Heid bite and bark.
Heidi real deal.
You be crazy not to hire Heidi.
Heidi make your tail wag!