Today I have given the Blog over to Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund.
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Many ask Heidi if she have good Christmas.
Pretty simple answer to question.
No.
BAD Christmas, BAD!!
No fetch for stupid Christmas!
First off, Heidi no ask for much this year. Know that economy tight and birds falling dead from sky, even if stupid birds get what deserve! Not right to fly. Big advantage! Make them hard to hunt and give them superior attitude.
But not matter, Heidi know she lucky dog. Heidi not greedy, Heidi good dog!
Heidi ask for meat and meat bone for Christmas. That all. Maybe hint she like opportunity to kill chicken with her death jaws, too, but not pushy about this. If it happens, it happens, is Heidi philosophy.
Heidi wait for Christmas, tail wagging!
And then just before Christmas Heidi go out with big pack of two-leggers. They going to slide down hill on dead tree boards and Heidi get to chase and bark. Look cute with snow on nose and everybody stop to say, “Oh, Heidi such a pretty dog, so pretty!” Lot of fun! Then Heidi smell something and begin to dig, dig, dig in snow. Find nothing, and then suddenly feel like rat bit paw hard!
Red blood everywhere!
Little two-leggers with blonde hair run screaming from Heidi! Red blood so vivid on white snow on hill! Make Heidi crazy! Chase little two-legged girls, red blood everywhere, girls screaming, two-leggers running in circles, yelling “No, Heidi, No!!”
Heidi not know what going on!
Everybody scared of her, like she bleeding Frankenstein monster, when what she need is love and support!
Then remember nothing.
Wake up and sore paw wrapped in retard glove.
Heidi limp, limp, limp. Everything hurt. No allowed outside.
Heidi feel so tired!
Two-leggers jam blue pill down Heidi’s throat twice a day like trying to kill her.
Shout at Heidi when she tries to lick paw.
Two-leggers yell and complain about vet bill, how much Heidi cost!
Can you believe it?!
And then get nothing for Christmas but bone made from organic carrot and donation made to Haiti relief in Heidi name.
Merry Fucking Christmas.