Today I have given the Blog over to Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund:
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Listen Two-Leggers.
Heidi know a lot about quarantine.
Relax.
Not worst thing in world.
Dog’s life all quarantine. If want out have to make big scene and bark, and then Two-Legged slave masters put dog on chain so that social distancing is strictly enforced. Very humiliating. Dogs no good at social distancing. Not our nature! Social distancing for stinky catfaces! Some may say speciesist to that, but Heidi no have time for bullshit today.
Heidi truth teller.
When Heidi in quarantine, Heidi like to lick herself, lie on sofa and bark at window.
Not bad life.
Not like Heidi have to wiggle into tiny hole and fight Badger for blood victory every day. Don’t get Heidi wrong. Heidi LOVE blood victory, but Heidi also love treats with no blood victory. Heidi don’t know what right sometime. Very confusing time for Heidi.
Heidi see FB full of Two-Leggers bitching about looking after own litters now. Not easy. Many treats required. But dog do it all time!! Litter of 9!! All with four leg and no tail control! Does dog complain?
No.
Dog just get shit done.
Dog just show teeth.
Everybody get it when dog do that.
But listen Two-Leggers.
There will be hard days.
Days that smell like cats.
Days that smell like fear.
Days that smell like the sick.
Find chew toy or squirrel to bark at each day.
Make you feel good.
Love something in each day.
Maybe meat treat.
Heidi love meat treat.
Blood meat treat even better.
Heidi also want to tell she going to fucking tear virus to death. Bloody virus bits everywhere. So fucking gonna destroy that virus. No forget, Heidi man’s best friend. Heidi save you.
Don’t be scared.
You will wag tail again
You will lick again.
Heidi got this.