Today I have given the Blog over to Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund.
Heidi have a few things to say about Valentine’s Day. No one know who this Saint actually was.
Was he Roman priest?
Martyr in Africa?
Did he have knack for finding lost dogs?
A Bishop from Intermna?
Nobody know! But still we have day for fake two-legger, celebrate him like he some great romance deal, but really Valentine’s Day just big, corporate rip-off lie! Valentine probably name of stupid company that make heart-shaped chocolate. Using dirty, cat money they bought “holiday” from corrupt government to make single dog feel bad and want to buy treats! Very stupid! But Heidi doesn’t feel bad about herself! Heidi feel angry, want to tear squirrel to million pieces, show world what real heart look like! Valentine blood holiday!!
Also, Heidi want you to know she not alone on stupid day because she fat. Maybe she carry little extra weight for winter, is all, but very healthy to do that! And not all programs work for Heidi! She try to eat food slow but it hard when predators around and never know when two-legger going to yell, “NO, HEIDI, NO, BAD DOG, BAD DOG!!” So Heidi eat fast because she smart!
Many stuck-up boy dogs intimidated by smart girl dog. So lame. Just scardey-cat dogs! Heidi too hot for dumb dogs to handle. Heidi goddamn bomb!!
This year Heidi think she take fake holiday easy. Do some Pilates and maybe watch movie. Heid want to see The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part I. Jacob is sexy time. Heidi love when he run as two-legger in little denim shorts and then become beautiful dog of fierce beauty!! Oh! He rip and tear and snarl and Heidi would let him hunt all over her body!
Heidi on Team Jacob.
Like to play game Jacob Alpha, Heidi Omega.
Play that all night long.