List of things Los Angeles Kings players said after winning the Stanley Cup

On Monday the Los Angeles Kings hockey team beat the New Jersey Devils to win their first Stanley Cup Championship in nearly 50 years. Immediately after the victory, announcers rushed about asking all of the players how it felt to finally win the first championship in franchise history. These are some of the responses:

Dustin Brown:

I don’t really have, uh, words to explain how I’m feeling right now. Again, uh, you know, to be the first King to touch that cup is something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.”

Anze Kopitar:

It feels great to bring 20, 000 people to their feet just by lifting a silver jug over your head. It’s a very humbling feeling and pretty exciting, like getting drunk with your father for the first time. Good, dizzy feeling!

Jonathan Quick:

Unbelievable. I don’t think it’s kicked in yet. It’s just awesome. I don’t even think I can tell you in words. I don’t know, I guess it’s kind of like that feeling you get when you’re running away from the cops, you know, and at a certain point, after you’re really exhausted and you think you’re done and headed to jail, you realize you’ve lost ‘em and you’re free. Yeah, that’s it.

Drew Doughty:

It’s so weird, man, but it feels completely like being high. Oh man, like, I probably shouldn’t have said that but I’m from the west coast. Represent! But all these people screaming, it’s just a trip, a crazy, perfect trip!

Slava Voynov:

I remember as a young boy I was dared by some older boys to shoplift something from the corner store. I was very scared to do so, but I was also very scared to not do so, and so I knotted myself into courage and took some gum and slipped it in my pocket and walked out of the store. It was incredible feeling, like breaking pane of glass with rock! All the other boys now looked at me with respect and I felt like I had become a man, an Alpha, and that is what it feels like to win the cup! (And then he roared.)

Willie Mitchell:

How does it feel? It feels like being a king, like signing my first multi-year contract!!!

Rob Scuderi:

I don’t know what to say, I just feel so bad for the Devils, because I know that they really, really tried hard.  I just don’t feel much like celebrating. They must all feel so lonely, so lost…I’m sorry– I’m just feeling a little emotional right now.

Mike Richards:

This is incredible. You dream about it a million times, but then for it to finally happen, I mean, wow, just fucking wow.

Jarret Stoll:

It’s awesome, just awesome, like when the Vicodin sets in, you know?

Andrei Loktionov:

It’s like crazy Russian sex with tennis star. Like that one time, when we used the animal masks, before she got famous.