Thankfully, I don’t have an addictive bone in my body. This is just one of my excellent qualities, and it’s come in very handy as last month I had major abdominal surgery for which I was prescribed Morphine, OxyContin and Percocet.
Luckily, I hardly noticed that feeling of euphoria and peace that slowly washed into my body and lifted me up — as if in the fragrant arms of angels that looked like Lynda Carter in her Wonder Woman costume– toward the ceiling whenever I took the medicine. (Hey world, look at me! I can fly! You’re all so small, like little pieces of rice with legs and faces!!) Fortunately, I never felt the NEED to take my pills every four hours—as it said I could on the bottle– but only did so because I like to follow rules.
And so it was very easy for me to stop taking these pills when the prescription suddenly ran out yesterday.
I have an iron will, you see.
This is my journal from yesterday:
9:45 AM: Woke up into fucking heat wave. The world is stupid and I have plans to destroy it!
9: 53 AM: Ceiling fan was making incredibly irritating WHHIRR sound that I never noticed before. Threw my empty prescription bottles—after licking interior—at it. Did not solve problem. Threw shoes at fan. Same result. Threw Rachelle’s alarm clock at it, broke window. Fine. Finally get some fresh air in this hellhole.
11:30 AM: Dog started to lick my face. She’s a manipulator, this one. Just wanted me to walk and feed her, well fuck her.
12:48 PM: Stepped in dog pee in hallway while on the way to bang on the wall to tell the neigbhours to stop boiling water so loudly. I attacked the dog and tried to use move I saw on Mixed Martial Arts bout the other day on her. Miniature Dachshund was much stronger than she looked and was able to quickly subdue me by standing on my incision.
1:00 PM: After vomiting, I took the dog for walk. Although very hot out, felt cold, so very, very cold and shaky.
1:10 PM: Gave sketchy guy in Jimmy Simpson Park $20 and smoked joint with him. Had a beer at picnic table with him, too. Nice day.
2:30 PM: Made big lunch of Kraft Dinner with wieners. Excellent!! Drank chocolate milk, too!
3:00 PM: Nap.
5:30 PM: Rachelle returned from work and woke me up. I was furious! I NEED MY SLEEP IN ORDER TO PROPERLY RECOVER!! I thought she looked ugly and mean and told her so. She began to cry and asked why the window in the front room was broken. I can’t take her incessant nagging!!!
6:00 PM: Took the dog for a walk to Jimmy Simpson Park where I gave $50 to a man for some vitamins in a bag. Took a few and then went to patio to have some wine. Nice night.
9:30 PM: Returned home with flowers for Rachelle. Taped garbage bag over broken window and watched episode of True Blood.
10:35 PM: Took more vitamins from bag.
11:00 PM: Watched City TV news. Katherine Humphries and Mark Daly are so funny!! Have such great chemistry!!
11:39 PM: Noticed that for some reason Rachelle was all distant and out of sorts. Offered her one of my new wonder vitamins but this just made her cry.