One of the most prevalent Internet memes going is “The Shit People Say” ones. The first one I saw was Shit Girls Say, which simply exploded, and soon enough the floodgates were open and all manner of variants were making their rounds. There must be dozens out by now, including, Shit Black Girls Say, Shit Asian Girls Say, Shit Spanish Girls Say, Shit Guys Say, Shit Gay Guys Say, Shit Black Gay Guys Say, Shit Yogis Say, Shit New Yorkers Say, etcetera, etcetera. It has probably run it’s course, but no matter, this is a wave I want to surf and am presently scripting my very own video, Shit Michael Murray Says.
This is how it will read:
That bitch is all hat no cattle.
Yes, I guess that I’m technically still between jobs.
The Lord is a panther who beats in your heart. Feel him and then set him free.
Go sit in a tree!
No, Heidi! No! Quiet! No, no barking! NO!!
Have you seen my breathe-rite strips?
This? It’s a Goodwill find.
Do I have toothpaste on my shirt? On my shoes?
I don’t know, I kind of feel like having steak for dinner.
I don’t like the way that squirrel is looking at me.
I believe that children are the future.
Man, I’m really congested today!
Whoever smelt it dealt it.
I used to be quite the athlete back in school.
If I was on that 9/11 plane that crashed into the Trade Towers, it wouldn’t have went down like it did. There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’
No, I never read that book.
No, no, I’m not drunk, not even close.
The Neti Pot changed my life.
