As many of you know, I skipped grade three.
I’ve been blessed in my life with an unusually large intellect, one that helped me achieve acceptance from one of the six universities I applied to, and to score a 103 in the CBC Test The Nation IQ test. I’m pretty smart, and everybody knows it.
As such, I get an awful lot of requests to help people out with brainwork. One such request from Heather Spratt (who has been making great strides) came across my desk just the other day. Heather wondered if I might captain and lead a team that she had been organizing to compete in the Wychwood trivia night in February. It’s not very much time to whip a team into shape, but as I like a challenge and have many charitable interests, I have decided to help.
The team, which I am naming THE JESUS COBRAS: TEAM CHARISMA is comprised of 10 people. I am assigning specific topics for which each person on the team will be responsible for complete expertise. This way, I hope to cover all the typical categories that tend to dominate Trivia competitions. I will now provide you with THE JESUS COBRAS: TEAM CHARISMA roster, as well as each individual’s intellectual responsibilities.
Michael Murray:
The obligations of the Alpha pack leader, the music of Hall and Oates, Bigfoot, sharks and UFO’s.
Rachelle Maynard:
Famous zit videos, kitchen accidents and biblical prophecy.
Julia Barylak:
The Ukraine, vitamins and Star Trek.
Mark Farrant:
The movies of Jessica Alba, gold and the NHL.
Douglas Mason:
Chicken coop construction and dill.
Meghan Henry:
Daniel Craig, Clive Owen and ghosts.
Dan Elliott:
Iron Man, The Venerable Bede and cars.
Chris Parsons:
Animated porn from the 1970’s, 1980’s and 1950’s.
Faith Bachlow:
Paintball and dream interpretation.
Heather Spratt:
Family Feud and the solar system.
There are presently two alternates on the team. It will be there responsibility to step-in in case there is an injury, or if I decide that any member of THE JESUS COBRAS: TEAM CHARISMA is just too stupid to compete.
Alternates:
Stephen Denning;
Peppermills and demons.
Jen Carparu:
Theatre stars of Rwanda and hacky sac.
Team drills, both physical and mental, begin next week, and the uniforms I am designing should be ready for our first dress rehearsal one week before the competition.