Tweeting with Chris Brown

Nothing that Chris Brown does surprises me.

He’s a complicated man.

For almost a year now I’ve been having a sporadic Twitter conversation with him. At times its’ been very combative, like an Old School freestyle rap off, and at other times its been quasi-friendy.

This is how it started:

Chris Brown:
F.A.M.E. is the best work I’ve ever done. I thank the people for always supporting my vision!

Michaelmurrayca:
You mean L.A.M.E. is the best work you’ve ever done.

Chris Brown:
Middle finger in full eFFect today!!! Lol#michaelmuRRaydouche

Michaelmurrayca:
You have a L.A.M.E. name. You catch me bust a rhyme there? Lame Name. That’s what you should be called.

Chris Brown:
You waNNa fEEl the heat? #michaelmurrayugly

Michaelmurrayca:
I don’t get your crazy capitalization. Are you stoned?

Chris Brown:
Michael mury brings out the fury, he’s a little dope that ain’t got no hope!

Michaelmurrayca:
I’m rubber, you’re glue, anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.

Chris Brown:
Dope line!! LOL!!

At this point Chris Brown stopped communicating with me for several months, but one day out of the blue he responded to one of my posts.

Michaelmurrayca:
Pad Thai is over-rated.

Chris Brown:
Don’t you be hating on our yellow broThers! Cash knows no coLor!!!!

Michaelmurrayca:
I live in Canada and our money has many different coloUrs. Our money is like Joseph and his amazing, technicoloUr dream coat.

Chris Brown:
My Money could buy your Money!!LOL!!!#michaelmurrayhomeless

Michaelmurrayca:
Nice hashtag, and I’m just between homes, not homeless. Between jobs, too. Between many things, actually.

Chris Brown:
You are the rock and the hard place, YOU the dinner that never gets heated, never get eated! #dropalineonamotherfucker

Michaelmurrayca:
Were you part of the final 16 on American Idol, I forget. #chrisbrownislame

Chris Brown:
Haters gotta hAte. #michaelmurraygonnagetwhupped

Chris Brown:
And I fucking love every single radio station who supports my music! It means the world to me! Thx

Michaelmurrayca:
We don’t have radio stations in Canada. Our music is naturally conducted on the ice winds.

Chris Brown:
I will take over CANADA and make all the ladies in the T.DOT!

Michaelmurrayca:
I have to take the dog for a walk now but I will be back to finish this later.

Once again, our relationship went into remission but it flared up again after Chris Brown Tweeted some of his romance lyrics.

Chris Brown:
if the lights in the sky came crashing down, I still could find your love even in a crowd… But will u remember me?

Chris Brown:
I want you to love me, like you’ve never loved nobody else, I want u to touch me, like when ur touching urself!

Michaelmurrayca:
I am moved by your lyrics. I would remember you and yes, moved to touch you like I’m touching myself, or something.

Chris Brown:
NOT HOMO!

Michaelmurrayca:
Hunh?

Chris Brown:
WATCH MY BaCK as I walk away from all this negativity#michaelmurraycantgetlaid

Chris Brown:
AND DEAR MEDIA.. Ur plan is not working.. I’m not going anywhere so get used to me #michaelmurraymediamoron

Michaelmurrayca:
I thought I was supposed to watch your back as you walked away, now I’m supposed to get used to you? What up?

Michaelmurrayca:
You’re all over the map, Chris. You sound erratic. If you were a robot you would be called Erraticon.

Chris Brown:
Don’t HeAt tHe DrAGon…

Michaelmurrayca:
I will not heat the dragon.

Chris Brown:
I’m so OVER everyone’s opinions.. Really!!!#michaelmurrayisabuttplug

And very recently Chris Brown posted this:

Chris Brown:
individuality is key… Fresh is a way of life…. When people constantly bring up your name(good/bad) thank them!

Michaelmurrayca:
I will send you my mailing address.

Chris Brown:
This is the only thing I’LL be sending YOU:

Michaelmurrayca:
Oh my.

Michaelmurrayca:
I don’t know what to say.

Chris Brown:
You ain’t got what I got motherFucker. #michaelmurrayisapussy

Michaelmurrayca:
Well, thank you for the naked picture, I guess, but I’m married and don’t swing that way, dude.

Chris Brown:
I will beat you to a pulp and you will like it cuz I’m HOT!!

Michaelmurrayca:
I think I know where all the anger comes from now, Chris.

Michaelmurrayca:
You just don’t like girls.

Michaelmurrayca:
You like boys and that makes you angry at girls.

Chris Brown:
My lawyers will be taking care of this matter, shithole.

Michaelmurrayca:
I’m sure you pay them enough so that they’ll do anything you want them to.

Michaelmurrayca:
In whatever costumes you like.

Chris Brown:
HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That’s the ultimate FUCK OFF!

Michaelmurrayca:
You’re gracious and gentle, like a cute, little lamb.

Michaelmurrayca:
With tattoos.

Michaelmurrayca:
Glad anger management has been working so well for you.

Michaelmurrayca:
You knob.