Rachelle and I have an insane amount of stuff.
As we slowly, very slowly unpack all the boxes that clutter our new apartment, we keep making all sorts of unexpected discoveries.
We have 12 Tiki torches!
3 Pinatas!
Easter decorations!
5 hockey sticks and one net!
7 (?!) winter tires!
Another thing I found out is that I have an abundance of vitamins. My mother, bless her heart, likes to send us care packages that consist of tiny packages of Kleenex, obituary clippings, dog treats and a multitude of bottles of vitamins. These come at a rate of about once a month, and although I’m utterly delighted to receive them, I simply cannot ingest that many vitamins. And so, I’ve been placing the bottles in a drawer, figuring I’d get to them when I needed them.
Well, I just unpacked the box that housed the vitamins and found out that there were 29 bottles.
I am considering pouring them all into a big jar, like jelly beans, and offering them up to guests. Or, could give them out at Halloween, or use them to throw at the Pigeons that assemble on the railing by our window. However, Rachelle, who is smart like a kitchen knife, is trying to convince me to sell them on Craig’s List.
This is my ad:
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!
Feeling sluggish?
Dragging yourself out of bed each morning, unsure if you have the strength to get through the day?
Can’t seem to shake that cold or those persistent dreams of predatory mice that scratch, scratch, scratch at your eyes?
Well, if you answered yes to any of these questions, then you’re probably vitamin deficient. Fortunately, having just moved apartments, I’ve discovered that I have an excessive inventory of vitamins that I am willing to sell!!
I have 29 bottles, about half of which are unopened. Mostly, they are Cod Liver Oil, but there is some Vitamin C in there, Magnesium and Vitamin B, too. And let me tell you, these vitamins are like magic! Having been on a vitamin regime for nearly two years, I can tell you that I can now raise my slapshot while playing floor hockey and only have to stop twice (sometimes just once!) when ascending the staircase to my apartment! My skin has cleared up a bit, too.
I am willing to sell the whole lot for $50.
Interesting trades will be considered.
PS: If you like, I can place all of the vitamins in a Pinata, and include a hockey stick as a baton. This would provide excellent entertainment and fun at any retirement home or hospital wing, and this special vitamin kit can be had for only $75.
Only serious inquires.
* Location: Toronto
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1459563819