Category: Blog

Although I have absolutely no authority over my own dog, Heidi, a Miniature Dachshund, or any dog, I still think that I have an awful lot to offer the canine world. With this in mind, I have started an advice column for dogs, in which I answer questions from animals looking to negotiate the mystifying…

On Saturday, while flicking about the TV, I came across the movie The Thin Red Line. When this happens, I’m usually compelled to stop everything and watch it until the end. It’s an utterly mesmerizing film, and I’m pretty sure it’s my favourite movie of all time. Made in 1998 by Terrence Malick, the movie…

Friday was beautiful, and most everybody you encountered on the street was feeling pretty good about things. A city worker in blue coveralls stood on the sidewalk smoking a cigarette. He was staring at Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund. “ I tell ya,” he began, “ for the life of me I can’t understand how somebody…

These are a series of personal ads that I wrote for the Craigslist Missed Connections section. They are all located in my kind of sketchy neigbhourhood in Toronto. ********************************************************************* Corner Store on Queen East It was Tuesday night and you were in the Green Grocer corner store. You were wearing pink hot pants and a…

Around midnight on Saturday, Rachelle and I heard a sort of pandemonium out in front of our apartment on Queen East. There was the sound of frantic shouting and the pulse of movement and velocity. In short, there was the sound and feeling of a fierce, uncontrollable energy. We went out to the balcony, which…

I have to admit, when I saw the photographs of the Canadian Women’s Hockey Team celebrating their gold medal victory, I felt a twinge of disapproval. I wasn’t sure what it was, but there was something that seemed, well, off. After a bit of reflection, I’ve decided it was the presence of cigars. In our…

On Wednesday, I received this email from Goran, my Russian bookie. ************************************************ Leedle Bug Man: Is Goran, master bookie and DJ of all of Greater Toronto Area, including Mississauga, bitches! We know that you no good in betting against Goran. You lose and lose and lose, like leedle Canadian bug! You lose so much money…

The name Tessa Virtue sounds so artificially pure that you could be forgiven for thinking it belonged to some girl detective or a porn star. But no, she’s a Canadian figure skater who has the wholesome, natural looks of a particularly attractive pioneer or maybe a TV star from a different era. She’s barely 20,…

Probably everything that you really need to understand about the Tiger Woods press conference/apology can likely be gleaned from the timing of the event. It was on a Friday, a day of optimism and relief, a day when people are generally felling just a little bit looser and forgiving of the world around them. Just…