I suppose that since I’m married now, my attitude toward the world around me has changed a little bit. There just seems to be a little less reason to interact with it, a little less reason to look for potential within people.
I mean, I’m taken now, so what’s the point?
That’s right, there is no point.
And so earlier in the day while I was out walking the dog, instead of making eye contact with people and maybe talking with them, I kept my head down and focused on my Blackberry–on my interior–which in this case was my Fantasy Baseball team, Ghost Blood.
At a certain point during my ruminations I heard a bunch of shouting. It turned out that I had inadvertently walked through the set of a TV show that was being shot in my neighbourhood.
Initially I felt badly about this, but it was a fleeting sensation, as before I could even apologize a bony woman in a NY Yankees baseball hat– somebody who looked like she would never get married– screamed, “You just ruined our shot and cost NBC a fortune! Why don’t you watch where you’re going you stupid jackass?”
This put me on the defensive.
“It’s not my fault,” I said, “ I just got married on the weekend and I’m really tired.”
She took a hard look at me and said, “I very sincerely doubt that you’re married.”
And then she just stared, her hands on her hips as if challenging me.
I did not know what to say, and as I stood there trying to think of something to say, one of the crew, a guy holding a huge light piped up, “Kelly, it might be true, up here in Canada gay people can marry,” and then he shrugged.
“I married a woman,” I said firmly.
There was tittering amongst the crew.
“I don’t care if you married a fucking penguin, just get off my set!” an imposing voice boomed.
I looked over to the catering truck, where the voice was coming from, and saw actor Treat Williams dressed up like a cop. He was eating a Samosa, which between bites, he pointed at me like a weapon. “Get the fuck out of here!” (Samosa chomp) “We have to shoot the scene before we lose the light!” (Another Samosa chomp)
“Treat Williams?” I asked, probably sounding a little bit star struck.
“Yep, it’s me, the Sweet Treat, the Big Meat Treat, in the flesh. I’m starring in a new NBC show called Against The Wall. It’s going to be huge, gritty, like The Wire. No Dancing With The Stars for this guy.”
I nodded my head. “Do you think it will be as good as Dead Heat, that movie you did with Joe Piscopo back in the 80’s?”
“Get the fucken’ fuck off my set!” he exploded, and so I did.