Author: Michael Murray

Since starting this Blog, I’ve been accorded an incredible amount of respect and authority from the world at large. It’s not at all uncommon for me to receive dozens of letters daily, each one asking for my advice on some matter. I’m only too happy to help out, as I feel it’s my duty to…

As many of you know, I had surgery to repair a hernia last Thursday. As such, I’ve been doing an awful lot of experimentation with painkillers. Last night it was dark rum, which proved to be an excellent analgesic. I actually ended up quite hammered and was inspired to write a letter to tennis superstar…

As you may have heard, Susan Boyle lost in the final of Britain’s Got Talent to a dance troupe called Diversity. Her story is well known. Embodying both the Cinderella and Ugly Duckling myth, she was plucked from solitude and obscurity, and rendered an inspirational lightning rod to legions of people who needed to believe.…

The other day, my father took me out on the boat. I’ve never had much of an itch to be out on the water, but more and more I’ve found myself drawn to it. I find the experience kind of therapeutic, relaxing in an unconscious but very real way. Obviously, you have a different perspective…

Yesterday, I returned home from the Shouldice Clinic after undergoing surgery for my hernia. As always, my beautiful Petal, Rachelle, was there to offer me love, support and encouragement. She helped start my process of recovery by telling me about all the cool and fun things she did when I was gone. For instance, she…

The Shouldice Clinic, where I’ve been having my inguinal hernia repaired, is the province of men. Mostly past middle-aged, we wear slippers and nametags. Feeling more lonely and vulnerable than we would like to admit, we express ourselves in uniquely masculine manners. Cliff reclines in a lounge chair watching a Jays game. He has the…

On Thursday, at 10:30 in the morning, I underwent hernia surgery at the Shouldice clinic. Under the advice of a particularly hearty and vigorous looking patient, I decided to ask for the maximum allotment of drugs, as like him, I had no desire to lie there on the slab, anxiously trying to interpret whatever the…

I was one of those guys who managed to make a lot of teams in high school, but was unable to star on any of them. What this means is I wasn’t a particularly good athlete, but was rather one of those “character” guys. A warm body that hopefully wouldn’t do too much damage if…

Earlier in the day, my dog tried to bite a woman who might have had a slight mental impairment. This woman saw us about twenty yards away, and as soon as she spotted Heidi her face began to melt from happiness. She was dressed all in purple, and had a collection of accessories that suggested…