Author: Michael Murray

Last week I wrote to professional baseball players Lance Berkman and David Ortiz in order to motivate them, as their underachieving performances were having an adverse effect on my fantasy baseball team, A Fury of Pigeons. I wrote Lance Berkman under the guise of Timmy, a sick eight year-old boy, and I wrote David Ortiz…

Down the street, workmen sat on the grass, mostly in the shade, breathing easy after lunch. Cross-legged, they occupied the sidewalk and lawn like protesters. The expressions on their faces suggested that they did not want to be made to feel like they should shuffle over and free up the sidewalk, and they immediately softened…

On the weekend, we visited the Albright-Knox gallery in Amherst, a suburb of Buffalo. It’s reputed to have one of the finest collections of Modern Art in the world, and I was pretty keen on seeing it. You see, I’d taken a course on Modern Art back in university, and having attended nearly 15% of…

When most people I know get drunk, familiar patterns of behaviour begin to emerge. For instance, Ian slides into an inexplicable Australian accent. Frank wants to wrestle people. Beatrice talks about what an unbelievable asshole her ex-boyfriend was and Tom always reminisces about his glory days in high school. For the most part, I thought…

On Friday afternoon, I went and saw the Star Trek movie. About half way through the film, I realized that I had a big, sloppy grin sliding all over my face. And then, shortly after realizing that, something completely unanticipated happened, I began to feel emotional. I certainly don’t consider myself a Trekkie, but I…

Last week, Rachelle and I took our dog to the Bathurst Dupont Animal Hospital in order to get her flea medication. It’s a utilitarian place, with humid and stale air hanging in a waiting room that’s modestly decorated by a couple of photographs of Meerkats. It stands in stark contrast to the nearby Yorkville clinics,…

As most of you are now very well aware, my fantasy baseball team—A Fury of Pigeons—is off to a very poor start this season. There are a number of reasons for this, but mostly it’s due to incredible sucky performances from two key players: David Ortiz and Lance Berkman. As times are tough and I…

This morning when I pulled the curtains back in the front room, I saw a man lying in the grass in front of a neighbouring building. He had shaggy hair and a beard, a look of distress on his face and was holding something up to his head. I was unsure if he had passed…

At the retirement home, each one of the resident’s names was posted on the wall beside the door to their room. Next to that there was a small display case with a couple of shelves in it, which was attached to the wall. In each case was a selection of items that presumably, either the…