Author: Michael Murray

On Sunday night at Chez Lucien a man in his mid-30’s sits drunk at the bar. Wearing a white t-shirt and a Jack Daniels baseball cap, he has a wiry frame and a construction worker’s tan. He’s not creating any trouble, but he’s at the point where he’s morphed into a different version of himself,and…

Wednesday (July 20th) was the 40th anniversary of the NASA moon landing. This reminded me of my first and only formal debate which took place in Miss McCulloch’s grade seven class at Queen Elizabeth Public School in Ottawa. I was arguing that the NASA moon landing was a fake. I had assumed this position because…

I’ve never had a driver’s license in my life. Last week I took the first step toward acquiring one by taking the written portion of the test. You should know that I actually really like tests. I’m entirely awesome at them. I’m like the Iron Man of tests. I can just fly in and blast…

From an unknown Internet Source, via Rob Perch: The Zodiac Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 19) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over and over. People think you…

On Thursday I wrote the test for my G1 Driver’s License at the Service Ontario branch up at Bloor and College. On my way I stepped into a cab on Queen Street and was immediately told by the driver that it was a brand new car that had just passed all the inspections and that…

The mayor of Toronto is Rob Ford. It’s a simple name, that, one that belongs to a man who doesn’t beleaguer himself with a bunch of fancy-pants syllables when he’s trying to get his message across. He has big hands and little eyes and he despises anything that suggest that he, or you, or I,…

A short, muscular man with an array of angry tattoos cast across his body strides through Jimmy Simpson Park with his Doberman Pinscher. He always keeps to himself, this guy, striking intimidating postures on the periphery as if envisioning himself some powerful sentinel from fantasy literature. The other day Ace, his dog, bounded over and…

I grew up in Ottawa where I played an awful lot of league soccer. Although I loved the game, I loved all the other team sports I played, too, and I became a fan of baseball, hockey and the like because they were culturally available. They were on TV, in Sports Illustrated and were the…

There is a pet store about two blocks from the bar where I do most of my drinking. It’s called Haute Dogs & Fat Cats and I’m usually drunk when I visit the place on my way home after Happy Hour. They have puppies in the store front window. Sometimes bunnies. At first I just…