Author: Michael Murray

Today I have given the Blog over to Heidi, our Miniature Dachshund ********************************************************** Day 2 Heidi been seeing lots of bats lately. On black wing they swoop down at Heidi, making terrible noise of fang death!! All Heidi see are blood-rat eyes of bats and feel their cold stink breath!! Just horrible!! But Heidi not…

The other day while taking my sick dog for a walk, it was pointed out to me by a 55 year-old lesbian who was also taking her dog for a walk, that she and I looked alike. Both of us had short, salt and pepper hair, wore one of those straw hipster hats, a plaid…

A friend of mine used to work at the Bank of Montreal where she helped provide technical support for on-line banking. One of the things she liked to do when killing time on the job was to scroll through the answers people provided to the security questions the bank used as a safeguard for each…

Last weekend while Rachelle and I were in Montreal we stopped in to the Museum of Fine Arts to see the Jean Paul Gaultier exhibit. I’ve always had a passing interest in fashion, but really don’t know that much about it or Gaultier in particular. He usually wore a French sailor’s top, he did that…

What follows is a series of text messages that my friend Trish sent me from her day in divorce court as she did battle with her soon to be ex-husband Pete. ******************************** “Oh my God, Pete’s wearing his super-ugly corduroy suit in order to impress the judge. It’s fucking August! He’s sweating like a pig!!”…

The girl working at the food counter in the basement of La Masion Ogilvy looked a little bit like Hillary Swank, which is to say that she had not yet realized she might be beautiful. The place was as quiet, still and soundless as a retirement home and a sense of sadness in the present…

On Thursday Rachelle and I took a cab down to Union Station in order catch our train to Montreal. It was in the middle of a punishing heat wave and it was rush hour, which meant that everybody on the road was frayed, tense and inching ever closer to exploding into a kind of psychosis.…

The Mayor of Toronto is a man named Rob Ford. He and his older brother Doug, a city councillor, loom over the city like a tag-team wrestling duo about to leap off the turnbuckle of the grappling ring. They both have small, beady eyes, thin, almost colourless hair and lack subtlety. They believe in football,…

As many of you know I’m involved in numerous different fantasy baseball pools. This method of investment is the primary means by which I manage Rachelle and our retirement funds, and as such my success is very, very important. Sadly, this has been a very bad year and I just wanted to single out some…