Chick-fil-A controversy

By now, many of you will have heard of the controversy surrounding the family-owned fast food chain Chick-fil-A. Dan Cathy, the billionaire owner of the business, gave an interview to a Baptist publication and appeared on a devotional radio program where he spoke of his views on gay marriage.

“We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit,” he told the Biblical Recorder. On the radio, he observed: “I think we are inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage.”

Instantly, there were all sorts of calls for boycotts of the chain, just as there were public displays of support for the chicken shop, most notably by vigorous heterosexuals Sarah and Todd Palin, who posed for photographs holding up big bags from Chick-fil-A.

It’s America, you know.

In an attempt to quell the PR damage that had been done Dan Cathy took to social media, fielding live questions on Twitter.

This is what followed:

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Rank69: Dude, if you’re so straight why is your last name a girl’s name?

DanCathy: It was my father’s name and I inherited it, so I didn’t have a choice.

Rank69: Do gay people have a choice as to whether they’re gay or not?

DanCathy: Of course, just like you have a choice to eat at Chick-fil-A or McDonalds!

Rank69: If you could choose your last name what would it be?

DanCathy: The Man.

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HelenofTry: How do you know what God thinks?

DanCathy: I read the Bible.

HelenofTry: Did God write the Bible?

DanCathy: It was more like a joint effort between the mortal and the divine.

HelenofTry: So God had a ghostwriter?

DanCathy: A Holy Ghost writer!  : )

HelenofTry: But if you’re just accepting what the Holy Ghost writer says, you’re not thinking for yourself, right?

DanCathy: We make some tasty chicken!

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AAAXX3: Why is Snoop Dog changing his name to Snoop Lion?

DanCathy: I don’t know but he should change it to Snoop Chick-fil-A!

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CuriousChristain3: There are no girls in the Godverse, right?

DanCathy: I’m not sure I understand.

CuriousChristian3: Well, God didn’t have a wife or a mother, it was just him up there.

DanCathy: The Lord is our Heavenly Father.

CuriousChristian: That’s my point, there’s no Heavenly Mother. He must have been lonely.

DanCathy: I think God keeps very busy and probably doesn’t feel lonely.

CuriousChristian: Ok, but if God made Adam in his own image and he had no reference for what a woman looked like, where did he come up with the idea of Eve?

Why didn’t she look like another Adam, only with a hole instead of a rod?

DanCathy: Our mission is to create loyal fans; we plan to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the political arena.

CuriousChristian: If Eve were more like Adam, by which I mean stronger, she could have helped fight off the dinosaurs.

DanCathy: The Lord knew what he was doing.

CuriousChristian: I guess so, he was probably a billionaire like you.

CuriousChristian: Still, you’d think God could have given women 6 arms or something so that they’d be better helpmates for their husbands.

DanCathy: 6 is the number of the beast.

CuriousChristian: Right! This brings me to chickens.

DanCathy: We’re proud to make the best chicken in the world!

CuriousChristian: Well, God made the chicken, you just cook it.

DanCathy: Yes, you’re right!

CuriousChristian: How did God come up with the idea for a chicken!? It looks demonic!

DanCathy: Well, our chicken at Chick-fil-A is divine!

CuriousChristian: Was the girl (eve) chicken made from the rib of the boy (Adam) chicken? How did that work?

CuriousChristian: And what was God thinking when he made a lobster?! Man alive, those things are crazy looking!

DanCathy: We want to thank you all for your loyal patronage of Chick-fil-A. God bless America!