Google Glass is a wearable, head-mounted computer that responds to voice commands and displays information like a smartphone. They look a little bit like the kind of eyewear you might see on an architect. They are the future, and “bold, creative individuals” who wanted to test them were given the opportunity to do so based on a letter they submitted to Google. One person who was selected to participate in this project was 82 year-old libertarian and actor, Clint Eastwood. This is the journal he kept for Google:
Day 1:
Spent half the goddamn day looking for the thing. Turns out Lupita put them in my desk drawer. Never know what that woman is thinking. I don’t hate illegals or anything, but I think she might be stealing from me. Why would she hide magic glasses unless she didn’t want me to see what she was up to?
Day 2:
Had soup.
Chunky Sirloin Burger with Country Vegetables.
Came out of microwave way too hot.
Glasses failed to respond to voice command, “Soup, cooler!”
Very disappointing.
Day 3:
Found on button.
Day 4:
Magic glasses allow me to watch TV in my head. Barack Obama continues to destroy the nation with his socialism. Clint Eastwood doesn’t want or need any help from the government. Government, just get out of my damn way!
Also, squirrels making a mess out of the backyard. I won’t need any government intervention to handle this one.
Day 5:
Heard something about that new pope washing the feet of juvenile delinquent girls. Don’t like the sounds of that. Isn’t the Pope just supposed to wash man feet? What the hell has Easter become? Thank God baseball’s started.
Couldn’t find glasses again, then later discovered I was wearing them. Fell asleep early.
Day 6:
Wore magic glasses on shopping expedition to get a heating pad. Woman at the cash was making a big deal about me being ‘the famous Clint Eastwood.” Hate big womanly fusses. She kept asking me to point my finger at her and say, “Do you feel lucky, Rose?” Glasses failed to weaponize upon command and so I just left without buying heating pad.
Very dissatisfied with glasses—Rose still alive, not even wounded, no heating pad and vision hasn’t improved. Google, I’m no longer going to play your game.
