Idea for a Kickstarter

FUNDING FOR INKLINGS, MY POP-UP TATTOO VAN

 

This elegantly airbrushed van will serve as my mobile tattoo center.

van-paint-job-creative-a08336_thumb

Visiting densely populated urban regions like high schools and drunken college parties, as well as sparsely inhabited small towns where there’s nothing to do, Inklings will appear to make tattoo dreams come true! Whenever you get the notion you want a tattoo, you just call us at 1-800-INK-LING, and we will speed recklessly toward you! We will be readily identifiable and branded, like the ice cream truck that came before us, but the music that we’ll always have blasting out of our speakers: Slayer.

It will be equally appealing to teens and their Midlife afflicted parents.

Ideally, I would like Inklings to become a TV show, as I want to expand beyond the confines of the GTA and explore this great nation of ours all the while providing adequate tattoo artistry and a penetrating look at the culture, landscape and psyche of the people that inhabit it. Think of Rex Murphy’s Cross Country Checkup married to Kat Von D’s LA Ink. This hygienic, mobile service will provide rapid tattooing at an affordable price in an atmosphere that playfully recalls some of your favourite serial killers.

It’s a brilliant idea. Fund me.

(Proposal pending the receipt of my valid driver’s license)

Backers:

7

Amount pledged of $50,000 goal:

$95

Days to go:

2

Incentives:

For those who donate $50 or more, an owl tattoo on the forearm.

owl chest plate

For those who donate $750 or more, an intimidating owl chest plate.


Comments

9 responses to “Idea for a Kickstarter”

  1. Jim Potter Avatar
    Jim Potter

    I’m in, but don’t want the owl. Does this mean I can only pledge $49?

  2. Michael Murray Avatar
    Michael Murray

    Jim:

    Although I can only do owls at this point, you should feel free to donate as much as you like as I will allow you to pass the tattoo on to a friend or lover as a gift. In fact, I will drive right up to the recipients work place and do it there.

  3. Michael,

    I believe this business plan would be a mistake, much like opening an independent video store in 2008.

    Stats show that 85% of people that get tattoos regret it within one year of tattooing. I presume that the other 15% are ‘doubling down’ and getting more tattoos in the assumption that having more than one tattoo will make them stand out from those wannabees that only have one tattoo.

    The tattooing frenzy is dying off- that 15% probably already have their favoured tattoo artistes, and are unlikely to by drawn in by Slayer alone.

    IMHO the High School idea is a good idea, if you persist in this, since this is one of the few places where growth is still possible.

    Peace out!

  4. Edit:
    Upon re-reading your post, I realized I should also mention that a proper serial killer would never use a van as easily described by witnesses as your Slayer van. Also, the booming Slayer music would also be verboten from a serial killer perspective.

  5. 2nd edit:
    On re-reading my first edit, I realize I used the word ‘also’ thrice in a two sentence paragraph.

    This sort of public humiliation would be avoided if you weren’t such a cheapskate and had either a “preview” or “edit” button for commenters or comments.

    I am pretty sure you have done more than a few edits on your postings yourself!

    If you are confused so to how add this functionality, I am prepared to help you, gratis.

    I am long term unemployed so it is not like taking the 30 minutes it would take to do this would impact my schedule.

  6. Michael Murray Avatar
    Michael Murray

    Doug:

    You make some good points about my business plan, but the important thing to remember is that it doesn’t have to work, it just has to get people to donate. I don’t actually have to produce or accomplish anything, which just happens to be right in my wheelhouse. And also, and this is important, the van is not supposed to be a replica of serial killer transport, just reminiscent of some. I want to conjure a pleasing nostalgia, like that first time you saw Silence of the Lambs, and not a blinding fear, or at least that’s what I want my donors to think is a plank in my business plan.

  7. I’m in for $0.20.

  8. Geoffrey Avatar
    Geoffrey

    If Doug helps you for free, you should give him an owl tattoo.

  9. Michael Murray Avatar
    Michael Murray

    Geoffrey:

    You are probably right.

    As this project is obviously going to be a big success, I am currently looking at expanding my tattoo options to include Magnum, P.I.