As everybody now knows, one-time popular actress Jennifer Aniston has decided to scale back and simplify her life. The hinge upon which this transformation is going to swing is that she’s going to sell her Beverly Hills home for $42 million (a million for each year of her life!) and buy a “little spot” in New York for $15 million.
I am very impressed by this and have decided to write Jennifer to express my admiration.
Dear Jennifer:
It’s me, Michael Murray.
Why haven’t you responded to any of my correspondence? Over the years I’ve sent you 53 letters, 7 gifts (4 handmade, not including the tooth) and 12 postcards, yet you haven’t responded to a single one.
My guess is that they probably got lost somewhere in your 10,000 square foot home, and so I’m very happy to hear that you’re going to “de-clutter” your life and live in a simpler, more attentive way.
I’ve also been doing something similar. (See, as letter number 12,14,35 and 51 stated, we have an awful lot in common!) I’ve started to simplify my life by wearing only laceless footwear.
Last week while doing up the laces to my boots– so I could take the dog for a walk in a blizzard– I realized just how much of my life I had lost to lacing. It was a real epiphany. By my calculation, over the course of my life, I‘ve lost well over three years to lacing and de-lacing.
I could have been swimming with dolphins during that time, learning to play chess, experimenting with saucy, new haircuts or destroying my enemies. It really makes you stop and think, doesn’t it?
Anyway, as you know, Rachelle and I live in Toronto and are thinking about buying a house. I have to tell you, we’re a little overwhelmed by the whole process and could use some advice. You, having bought your mansion for a $13.5 million back in 2006– and then having renovated in a “Bali-theme” for two years– are now selling it for $42 million. That is fucking awesome, Jen, and we could really use some of your expert advice.
This is a picture of the property that Rachelle and I are thinking of trying to buy.
It’s in an emerging and trendy area just outside of Toronto called Little Congo, and is conveniently located near the airport. It’s listed at $399, 000 but our real estate agent thinks that it’s been priced artificially low as to set-off a bidding war. She expects multiple bids on Monday, the only day they’re accepting offers. What do you think we should bid?
Thanking you in advance, you fan and friend in simplification,
Michael Murray
PS: My therapist thinks that when you say you want to lead a “simpler” life, what you’re really doing is just leading a “singler” life. Is this true, are you lonely?