These are the texts that I received from my wife Rachelle while she was driving home from work yesterday:
********************************
R: Oh Pickle, I just saw the worst thing!!
R: A man jumped from the Lawrence overpass onto the Don Valley Parkway and I saw his body, pinned underneath a pick-up truck. Just horrifying.
R: Sorry?
R: Oh, I see, your lunch was horrifying.
R: How sad for you that you had to eat the leftover lasagna I made the other night.
R: You’re very brave to endure such brutality.
R: You’re right, I should call it Pink Slimeasagna.
R: Regardless, imagine being behind the wheel of that truck, seeing a man jump and then running over him? Good God, that person will never be the same.
R: No, I don’t mean the person who jumped.
R: The driver.
R: No, I am NOT taking video of it!!
R: It would be awful for the driver to live with that, it would be a life-altering event.
R: Ha-ha. Yes, I’m sure that my leftover Pink Slimeasagna was a life-altering event, too. You’re very funny today, dear.
R: You had a coffee, didn’t you?
R: Sorry?
R: Well, I had never thought about it until now.
R: I suppose driving over a person who had just committed suicide would be more traumatic than seeing a UFO abducting a cow for probing.
R: How would you know?
R: Oh, that’s right, you have lucid dreams!
R: And in these lucid dreams you see UFO’s and drive over suicides?
R: I see.
R: Right, right, Night Time is Mike Time.
R: Did you really have that printed on a T-shirt in high school?
R: Very cool, I bet you were very popular with the ladies.
R: Sure.
R: Yes, I know, you were good at sports, too.
R: Now tell me, back in high school when Night Time was Mike Time, did you wear a Breathe-Rite strip to bed?
R: A Lucid Dreaming sleep mask.
R: It all makes sense now, you know.
R: Me?
R: I could dunk a basketball in high school.
R: And I had many lovers, some of them black, black as the night, Pickle.
R: I’m not being racist. I’m just stating a fact.
R: I never told you this, but I had a baby, a black baby.
R: Because I gave her up for adoption.
R: I was young, that’s why.
R: Her name is Jada.
R: Her father?
R: We haven’t seen one another in months, but we’re Facebook friends.
R: I think he knows about you.
R: Yeah, I think so. Maybe.
R: Not sure.
R: What does he do?
R: Well, he won Survivor: Fiji, but he’s really an entrepreneur, philanthropist, producer and advertising executive.
R: He looks a bit like Marvin Gaye.
R: But that’s all in the past!
R: You wrote a letter to Erin Collins from Survivor: Thailand?
R: You admired her grit?
R: Did she ever write back?
R: Oh, that’s too bad, Pickle.
R: Tell me about some of your high school sweethearts!
R: Oh, well I’m sure playing the field was a very good strategy for you.
R: Yeah, keep your options open.
R: What was high school like in the 50’s, anyway?
R: Okay, see you soon, xox
Comments
2 responses to “Text Messages From Rachelle”
thanks for the afternoon smiles!!
My pleasure, Rebecca!