Old Spice has a marketing campaign that targets a constituency of douches. Self-parodic, they attempt to mine the psyche of 20something dudes with one-liners and videos that are the sort of thing that might be funny if you’re stoned. It’s ironic, white-boy bluster, the common parlance of chubby young men in fantasy sports leagues who believe that their most likely avenue into the world of sex is that they’re self-aware.
To give you an idea of what I’m talking about, I present a couple of Tweets coming out of the Old Spice marketing factory:
“Why would anyone complain about it being so hot out you can cook bacon on the hood of your car? Seems like a good thing to me.”
“With Old Spice Danger Zone you’ll smell like volcano powered motorcycles and ninja punching.”
“Velociraptor training is one of those things that’s best left to the experts.”
You get the picture.
A recent Tweet by Old Spice read:
“Why is it that “fire sauce” isn’t made with any real fire? Seems like false advertizing.”
Unexpectedly, they go this response from Taco Bell that started up a great Corporate Twitter War.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Is your deodorant made with really old spices?
Old Spice
@TacoBell You should be giving out Old Spice Danger Zone with each one of your manky burritos. Those things smell like some sweaty disease.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Why do you collaborate with the Taliban? Doesn’t America mean anything to you?
Old Spice
@TacoBell If you were an Olympic Event you would be diarrhea.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice You’re soap on a dope.
Old Spice
@TacoBell Is it true you slaughter all your meat by crossbow?
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Aluminum Chloride, an agent commonly found in deodorants, causes breast cancer.
Old Spice
@TacoBell Your face causes breast cancer.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Girls hate you because you smell bad, no amount of compensating will ever make up for that.
OldSpice
@TacoBell Only 36% of your “Taco Beef Filling” is actually beef. What makes up the other 64%? My guess is AIDS.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Old, rotten, cancer-causing Spice is owned by Mormons who wear funny underwear. Also, girls hate your tiny, taco beef filling.
Old Spice
@TacoBell I think I could punch you in the face now.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice You mean flail about girlishly with your eyes closed, don’t you?
Old Spice
@TacoBell No, I mean punch you in the face with a jagged brick and then watch you bleed “Taco Beef Filling” through your hair net.
Taco Bell
@ OldSpice Are you getting turned on?
Old Spice
@TacoBell Yes.
Taco Bell
@OldSpice Let’s merge, let’s merge now!!
Old Spice
@TacoBell Turn off the web cam!! I mean, turn it on, turn it on!!