My 75 year old mother participates in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest

Having grown completely exasperated with the weekly New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest, I have asked my 75 year old mother if she would be so kind as to contribute. What follows are her submissions over the last month and a half:

1

My cat Frito would love it here!

 

2

My cat Frito would like to take it from here, Simpson!

 

3

Somebody here isn’t eating a balanced diet and if they’re not careful they’re going to get the gout!

 

4

I wouldn’t be so pleased with myself if I were you, one day you’ll get yours, and let me tell you, it won’t be nice!

5

Old Macdonald’s drinking caught up with him and he died two years ago. He had cirrhosis of the liver and then was taken by pneumonia. Just too weak to fight.

 

6

You, you’re just another good-time Charlie, you’re not getting the eggs for free from me,  buzz-off!