These are the text messages I received from my wife Rachelle the other day:
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Rachelle: Oh.
Rachelle: Well, I didn’t realize you felt that way about Keto Pizza Night.
Rachelle: Just a 5 out of 10, eh?
Rachelle: Oh. More like a high 4 out of 10. I see.
Rachelle: It’s been so brave of you to stoically endure like that, especially when you’re not even on the Keto diet!
Rachelle: It would be awful to have a homemade pizza created for you each week.
Rachelle: I can’t even imagine.
Rachelle: Yes, it’s true.
Rachelle: You really would do anything for your family.
Rachelle: Such courage.
Rachelle: You know what else you could do for you family?
Rachelle: No, this isn’t about getting a job.
Rachelle: I know how debilitating your allergies can be.
Rachelle: Yes, it must be like having Face Fibromyalgia!
Rachelle: Poor Pickle and his FF.
Rachelle: You should make a Facebook meme about this condition! Spread the word! Complain!
Rachelle: I’m sorry, I meant share information, not complain.
Rachelle: But look, what I’m preposing is this: Instead of me doing Keto Pizza Night for everybody each Tuesday night, maybe you could make something instead?
Rachelle: What do you mean you have to think about it?
Rachelle: No, I think you should get back to me now.
Rachelle: No.
Rachelle: No ketchup based soups.
Rachelle: Because it’s disgusting.
Rachelle: Look, all you have to do is BBQ a steak and pour some salad from a bag onto a plate.
Rachelle: I believe in you, Pickle.
Rachelle: I believe you have what it takes to become Master of Fire.
Rachelle: That’s why I married you. I knew you would one day become Master of Fire.
Rachelle: Sure, I guess it was like a prophecy.
Rachelle: Oh! I found your glasses, by the way!
Rachelle: Jones had put them, very delicately, in the middle of a stack of towels in the linen closet.
Rachelle: There is a Spiderman sticker on the left lens.
Rachelle: No, I didn’t take it off.
Rachelle: I thought it looked sweet.
Rachelle: Nothing can stop you now. You are the Master of Fire. You’ll figure out how to remove the sticker.
Rachelle: Okay, I have to go now, it’s time for my power skating/massage session with Pierre! Should be back around 7:00! xo