Tweets from the Box Factory

About three years ago I got a job working part-time at a box factory in Scarborough. A month ago, The Box Factory asked me to start up a Twitter account on their behalf to generate some publicity for the business, but also as a way to disseminate information to The Box Factory workers. These are the tweets that I wrote leading up to our Christmas party and for the first half of that party:

TheBoxFactory: Not only is a box an excellent and unexpected Christmas gift, but it’s also what you put the gift in! #Boxenthusiasts

Box

TheBoxFactory: A Christmas box classic! http://ow.ly/rNgZg

TheBoxFactory: Are you getting excited to find out what Santa has in his box for you?

TheBoxFactory: It is important for Box Factory workers to show up on time for their shifts.

TheBoxFactory: The Ultimate Box: The Box To End All Boxes (as featured in The Hobbit). Don’t forget to add this to your Christmas list! #Boxenthusiasts

the-hobbit-movie-48-fps

TheBoxFactory: Employees of The Box Factory, don’t forget the office Christmas party on Dec. 14!

TheBoxFactory: The fridge in the staff kitchen is disgusting. People need to clean out their own rotting food!!!

TheBoxFactory: This fridge needs to be clean by December 14th!

TheBoxFactory: Life in not like a jar of chocolates, it’s like a BOX of chocolates!! http://ow.ly/rNhxD

TheBoxFactory: Appreciate the excellent work on the fridge! Looks like things will be good to go for our big party tomorrow!! Remember, potluck.

TheBoxFactory: We make the best boxes.

TheBoxFactory: Christmas party tonight!! BYOB!! (Bring your own box! LOL!)

TheBoxFactory: I will be bringing a bucket (I mean box!) of KFC! #MichaelMurrayPartyCentral

TheBoxFactory: Am very disappointed to hear that Manuel will be doing the music tonight. It’s going to be a Christian rock kind of Christmas party. Barf.

Jars of Clay

TheBoxFactory:  Party starts at 5:00 sharp!

TheBoxFactory: The first song that Manuel played was about Jesus and sung by white people. Nobody dancing. Way to go, Manny.

TheBoxFactory: Manuel is a loser who makes shitty boxes.

TheBoxFactory: And wears stupid sweaters.#ReasonsToHateManny

TheBoxFactory: Janice and Sandro just snuck off behind the SBM 86.

TheBoxFactory: I think they’re gonna do it again just like last year.

factoryfuck2

TheBoxFactory: If you hear somebody yell, “Mother of dragons,” you know that Janice and Sandro are breaking company policy and “God’s law.” #ThingsMannyWouldSay

TheBoxFactory: As a reminder: Company Policy: 9:42: The Box Factory prohibits a dating/sexual relationship between one employee and any other, be they full, part-time or temporary, other than his or her spouse.

TheBoxFactory: If I was DJ this is what would be playing: http://ow.ly/rOA9b #fun

TheBoxFactory: Getting nice buzz on.

TheBoxFactory: Didn’t think I could beat Jelena at arm wrestling, but there you have it!!!

TheBoxFactory: Best party ever. I love you Boxonians!

TheBoxFactory: If anybody wants some dope, Marvin is in the parking lot by the loading bay.

TheBoxFactory: Good shit.

TheBoxFactory: Also, potato salad tastes really weird. Might contain some weird ethnic spice.  Be warned!!

(The second half of the party Tweets will appear later)