These are the text messages I received from my wife the other day:
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Rachelle: Really?!!
Rachelle: Wow!! Having Lyle Lovett like one of your Tweets is amazing! That must be a real feather in your cap!
Rachelle: I’m proud of you, Pickle!
Rachelle: Yes, of course I do.
Rachelle: He’s one of The Avengers, isn’t he?
Rachelle: The Jewish one.
Rachelle: The one who could turn himself into a plane that’s also a tiger.
Rachelle: Oh.
Rachelle: I thought one of The Avengers could do that.
Rachelle: And that they embraced all religions, that they fought for freedom of religious expression and each hero represented a great faith.
Rachelle: Oh.
Rachelle: Well, I guess I don’t know who Lyle Lovett is then.
Rachelle: Hmm, a musician.
Rachelle: No, none of those songs are familiar to me.
Rachelle: Just before my time, I guess.
Rachelle: Not a dig, Pickle. You’re just a lot older than me.
Rachelle: No, I’d say 12 years is a lot. Anything double digits.
Rachelle: What??
Rachelle: He was married to Julia Roberts?
Rachelle: You mean the guy who looks like a scarecrow/funeral director is Lyle Lovett?
Rachelle: Wow.
Rachelle: It’s true, personality does counts for a lot.
Rachelle: And yes, it is almost as if Julia Roberts liked your Tweet!
Rachelle: Aww, that’s sweet!
Rachelle: Well, if I’m your Pretty Woman, you’re my little Lyle Lovett!
Rachelle: Yes, my power skating class is over and I’ll be home soon.
Rachelle: With the wings.
Rachelle: Extra mild. Sauce on the side. Extra wet naps. No carrot stick taller than the others. As always.
Rachelle: It’s a little bit of a serial killer kind of order, you know.
Rachelle: That was auto correct.
Rachelle: I wrote “You’re a sweet kind of order.”
Rachelle: Well, auto correct works in mysterious ways.
Rachelle: Through a glass darkly and all of that.
Rachelle: Yes, you probably will start getting ads in you Facebook feed for serial killer things now.
Rachelle: Well, they say technology knows you better than you know yourself, Pickle!
Rachelle: Oh, I’m kidding, honey.
Rachelle: You’re no serial killer.
Rachelle: In fact, you would be the worst serial killer in history.
Rachelle: Well, your allergies to start. Always blowing your nose and sneezing. You’d be detected straight away!
Rachelle: And then there’s your general physical and mental weakness. Serial killers have to be on the ball! I bet serial killers get 10 hours of sleep a night!
Rachelle: Ha Ha!! I know, I would kill for 10 hours of sleep, too!
Rachelle: But look, the fact that you could never be a serial killer is a compliment, not an insult.
Rachelle: I know, these are confusing times.
Rachelle: The falcon cannot hear the falconer.
Rachelle: It’s from a poem.
Rachelle: I think the falconer is the person who dresses the falcon when they go hunting. Picks out the outfits. Not positive.
Rachelle: Anyway, see you in about half an hour! xo
