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Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WP_Term::$object_id is deprecated in /home2/michafe9/public_html/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 198 Health | Welcome To The Magical Friendship Squad! Deprecated: Creation of dynamic property WP_Term::$object_id is deprecated in /home2/michafe9/public_html/wp-includes/class-wp-term.php on line 198
I look around and see my neighbour sitting on his stoop smoking a cigarette. A single man near 60. He was the victim of a hit and run about a month ago. He was following all the rules, doing everything right, but it simply did not matter. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he is flying through the sky.
And when he landed his jaw was broken, his face covered in lacerations, his body traumatized. They probably told him he was lucky in the ER. Upon release he was so ashamed of the way he looked that he would not answer the door or come outside, and the soup Rachelle made for him had to be delivered through an intermediary so she would not see the man inside the dark apartment.
His quiet pain.
He doesn’t see me yet, and looking at him I notice how much thinner, how much sadder he looks in this unguarded moment. And then he spots me, and I realize that he is probably thinking exactly the same thing about me.
And so we just nod at one another.
And saying nothing, let the thin sunlight of the day fall upon us.
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I try to imagine what Jones will remember of me.
Sometimes, I wish I could construct his memories.
The three of us are out in the woods. A perfect autumn day. Jones is beaming, amazed by everything, and Rachelle is the light that made him, brought all this into being, and I know that sounds corny but it’s true. It just is. The wind passes through some branches and a tree casts red leaves like sparks. And I envision suddenly waking into this holy moment. Jones climbing a hill, pulling himself up by the exposed roots of trees, Rachelle, smiling and laughing, chasing after him. The colours and smells all so vivid and ancient, and what were the odds that this would become my life? What miracles have fallen upon me?
But I know I cannot keep up with the robust play. I will sit in the car. Recharge my oxygen. Wait for them to get back. And as we are waving goodbye and shouting encouragements I lose myself to the inevitability of watching these two do things I cannot, of watching them move further away from me and deeper into this world, and as I am making this transition Rachelle asks if I heard that.
I am in the forest again and Jones is holding out a stick, looking at me.
Heard what?
He said, “I carry the fire.”
And it takes me a moment. The phrase, “You carry the fire,” from a book I loved about a nearly spent man trying to shepherd his son through a dangerous landscape. Foolishly, I used to repeat the phrase to Jones when he was younger, hoping to instil some beautiful purpose within, but it never took. Jones never repeated it, and soon enough I just stopped saying it to him and let it fall away, but now, standing before me with a perfect, red maple leaf pierced through its heart on the stick he was holding out, he says, “Look daddy, I carry the fire.”
That moment that easily could have slipped away– and would have if not for Rachelle’s intervention–now alive forever, blazing in a forest.
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Share what the song Sweet Thing by Van Morrison has meant to your life:
Lucas Stanford 52:
“I was sick with cancer. It was advanced and I wasn’t expected to survive. I was still a young man, not yet in my 30’s, my entire life still in front of me. I felt I had wasted all I had been given, that I had lived too critically, enumerating dislikes and never living a joyous, unguarded life. If I were to survive I would say yes to the world, to all the people in it, to myself. And whenever my parents drove me to the hospital for treatments, I would listen to this song, and as I did so we would pass green fields where high school students played sports and fell in love. And I saw in them something holy. Their breath on chill mornings a visible sign of optimism and momentum.
And Van Morrison’s voice so confident and vital– a primal, beautiful and ancient thing. He embodied that deep in the gut wont to fall in love, to survive for somebody:
“And I will not remember That I even felt the pain. We shall walk and talk In gardens all misty and wet with rain And I will never, never, never Grow so old again.”
The song is alive. Listening to it is like watching a shoot growing. It offered me life and I took it. I survived for somebody. It changed everything.”
