Great Mayors Rise To Great Challenges

A friend of mine was recently in Calgary, right in the midst of the horrendous floods that stormed the city like an apocalypse. He was stranded there for a few days, and the surreal experience left him mildly inconvenienced, a little shaken and in a state of awe. Calgary mayor, Naheed Nenshi, is an ascendant political superstar, and my friend was left dazzled by the competence, sincerity and confidence in which he led and handled a massive, municipal crisis. He was the light to which Calgarians, and much of the rest of the country, turned. He gave us all comfort and assurance that there was somebody in charge, somebody who cared and knew what to do.

Similarly, Rudolph Giuliana, led New York, America and pretty much the rest of the world, in the midst of the September 11^th attacks on New York City. Ever-present, he was tireless, an informed, robust, sincere and deeply invested presence that was able to offer us, if not absolute comfort, at least a sense of stability and continuance. Great mayors rise to great challenges.

On May 13^th of 2013, the much loved and beleaguered Toronto Maple Leafs were eliminated by the Boston Bruins in game 7 of the first round of the Stanley Cup finals. Normally, this would be considered a victory for the chronically underachieving Leafs, but in this case they suffered a historic collapse, relinquishing a 4-1 lead with less than 15 minutes left to play. The city of Toronto was utterly devastated. It was at this time that Rob Ford stepped up to the plate and revealed that he was a great leader.

The Press Conference:

Q: How are you feeling mayor?

A: Frig. I’m not sure I have the words. It’s just, you know, not right. You’re at home eating your hot dogs expecting victory, and then this. It’s just, just, geez, you know?

Q: Are you proud of the team for the way the team battled against the heavily favoured Bruins?

A: It’s just an emotional time for me. I can’t speak right now. You know, there are Bros crying in Maple Leaf Square tonight. They’re painted blue. Some of them have shaved their chest so that they look like maple leafs. It’s just tragic.

Q: Do you have any words of support for Torontonians right now?

A: Reimer was real weak on that last goal. Boy. It’s hard to believe he has a hot wife. Little skinny, but still. Also, the referees were crappy. We’re going to look into protesting the outcome, maybe hold it up in court.

Q: What do you think of Toronto’s chances next year?

A: Are you serious!? What do you expect me to say!!?? This is a tragedy! Now’s not the time for such questions, holy hell! You guys in the media never cease to amaze me! You have no class! Zero! Bunch of crappy referees is what you are, why don’t you try getting a real job, eh? I’m done with this, I’m going to get something to eat—outta my way!